What’s Funny About Admissions? Read This…

From the SFK Files blog in SF. A parent wrote a satirical comment about the admissions process under a pretend name, “Catherine & Kent” . www.thesfkfiles.blogspot.com

Anonymous‬ said…

Dear Prospective Parent,

Congratulations on your decision to try to join the elite group of private parents. If you belong, you will be richly showered with offers. Here is a simple recipe for success:

1) Try to get to know the AD’s as intimately as possible. Find a proper social milieu and join them. Invite them to your country club for Ricards (with ice) or a proper gin martini. Find out what country club they attend. If you have friends at that club, get them to invite you to dinner or a round of golf. Sends glasses of pastis and mints to their table.

2) Choose only the elite schools. One or two Mickey Mouse institutions will suffice for backup.

3) Tour with grace and style. A colorful pashmina and a nice pair of Manolo Blahniks are always perfect for the lady. A nice seersucker and black oxfords are ideal for the man.

4) Be sure to pepper your conversation with the ADs with plenty of obscure intellectual references. I recommend the google for finding these little gems. During the tour be sure to mention the powerful people you know in the city and the various social outings you have with them. For example, tea with Charolotte Schultz, cocktails with Wilkes Bashford, duck hunting with Newsom, etc.

5) Always hold your chin up high. This one is self-explanatory and very important. ADs notice stuff like this.

6) Invite your AD to the club for Ricards (with ice). This is a repeat of #1 but very important. Can’t emphasize this one enough.

7) Downplay the play date with the AD. They will know by how you conduct yourself whether or not you belong. The play date is pure bunk.

Good luck, but as I say, if you belong, all will fall into place.


Catherine and Kent

March 26, 2010 12:39 PM

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Christina Simon: Los Angeles, California, United States I'm the mom of two kids who attended The Willows School in Culver City and Viewpoint School in Calabasas. My daughter is a graduate of Northwestern University Medill School of Journalism ('23) and my son is a sophomore at UPenn/Wharton ('26). I live in Coldwater Canyon with my husband, Barry, and our dogs. Contact me at csimon2007@gmail.com

2 thoughts to “What’s Funny About Admissions? Read This…”

  1. Hilarious. I'm off to brush up on my bons mots before my next school tour! Perhaps even saying "bons mots" is enough. LOL.

  2. This is hilarious and sad. I've heard multiple anecdotes regarding the admission interviews where parents didn't make it! Kids were fine though… but got rejected anyway. How is your button doing? Any time soon?

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