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If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ve probably read my posts about “school culture” or a school’s vibe. That’s because I think it is one of the most important things to know about L.A. private schools. Ideally, you’ll learn as much about the school’s culture as possible before you enroll your kid. Figuring out what a school is really all about–not just what they want you to see–isn’t always easy. Unless you have a close friend at the school or know someone who works there, it can be difficult to figure out what a school is really like for kids and for their parents.
So many factors go into creating the culture of the school. Some of these things are accidental or subjective, others are carefully planned and cultivated. Things like geography or location, school size, school leadership, age of the school, educational philosophy can all influence a school’s culture.
When we were choosing an elementary school, the things I cared the most about were finding a sense of community at our school and the quality of the education. I didn’t care whether parents worked in a certain industry or if kids were interested in becoming movie stars. It was important to me to find parents who felt the school was an extension of their community and treated it that way. I hoped to find families with similar interests to our own. I didn’t want a commuter school, a place where parents dropped off their kids and avoided other families whenever possible. Unfortunately, that wasn’t my experience at The Willows.
So, what can you look for to figure out whether a school’s culture will be right for your family? I say family because when you’re dropping off your 6 year-old at somebody’s house, you need to feel comfortable. If the family’s nanny opens the door to let your kid in, without even inviting you inside and the mom is nowhere to be found, this isn’t the kind of community I’m talking about. A sense of belonging can only happen if the school helps facilitate a sense of community. It’s not enough for a school to assume parents will meet each other eventually. L.A. is too big and fragmented for that to happen. If the school takes that approach, it will take a lot longer to schedule playdates or plan a mom’s night out…possibly even years. After all, are you going to go down the roster and start cold-calling? I don’t think so!
I’ve been candid about the fact that the culture of The Willows School was wrong for my family. The school’s culture, in my experience, wasn’t friendly or inviting. Instead, it was kind of like a commuter school where parents dropped off their kids and left. The lack of community left me wishing for a true community school, one where parents were friendly and cared about the school community rather than just the people they already knew. Scheduling playdates was difficult. For the most part, a lot of parents weren’t interested. Or, they’d cancel or flake at the last minute, leaving me to explain to my kids what happened. Board members and the head of school strutted through the halls speaking only to other parents they deemed “worthy.” The head of school created a board and top staff filled with unqualified or marginally qualified cronies. No issue was too small for them to micro-manage. Any issue that negatively impacted them or their friends was ignored, shoved under the rug. The offending complainant was snubbed, considered disloyal. Volunteering there was one of the most unprofessional experiences of my entire life. Screaming matches between parents, stony silence, an absence of staff to demand professionalism from volunteers. I’m not blameless. This all brought out the worst in me. I shouted back. I stopped speaking. This type of culture, I might add, starts at the top with the school’s leadership. It is a cultivated way of behaving, not a mere one-time oversight. As my husband, Barry, pointed out, “A fish rots from the head.”
In contrast, Viewpoint School is professional, friendly and expects parents to behave in a civilized manner. This culture fits my family so much better. We appreciate and respect the school for creating an environment where if I email a parent I don’t know personally, he or she will most likely respond. I would have never thought something like this would matter until I didn’t have it.
So, how can you discern what a school is really like from the outside?
Ultimately, what you see is sometimes not what you get. And then, there’s that school where what you see really is exactly what you get. Hopefully, you find the latter. Like we have at Viewpoint School.
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