Tag: Guest Blogger Jenny Heitz

Radom Questions For Guest Blogger Jenny AND The New $1,600 Bugaboo Donkey Stroller

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Writing a blog doesn’t necessarily require the writer to share much about themself although many bloggers do.  I’m such a private person that it still amazes me that I even have a blog. Beyond The Brochure isn’t a confessional blog, so it’s not filled with stories about my personal life. But, a few months ago, it occurred to me that some of you might want to know more about the moms on this site who are offering advice about private school admissions and writing about what life is really like at some of these schools. 

So, I’ve posted some of Jenny and my recent blog pieces we’ve written for other sites, that offer more personal details about us (we’ve even told you our ages!). Who knows, maybe my co-authors, Anne and Porcha will tell-all too! 


My favorite blogs tell me enough information about the writer so I can identify with them, understand them, learn from them and laugh with them. I relate to my favorite bloggers in some intrinsic way and therefore keep reading their blogs. That’s one of my favorite aspects of blogging, which is more personal than reading a newspaper (which I like too!). Of course, with a newspaper, you rarely get to know anything about a reporter whose stories you read regularly and whose writing you admire. So, in the interest of Oprah-style full disclosure, here are a few random questions for our favorite guest blogger, Jenny Heitz. Oh, and she has a question for me too. 
What is your daughter Anna like (besides being super-smart)?
Anna is a very funny, very irreverent, high-energy person. She has always had precise likes and dislikes, and she’s pretty socially savvy. Anna will always find the work around in order to get what she wants, so it requires a certain level of energy to keep one step ahead of her. She’s also a nice kid. She’s sweet to animals and younger children, and tries hard to steer clear of mean girls. Overall, I’m very proud of her and can’t believe she’s my kid.

Are you a “Free Range” type of mom?
I think I thought in free range terms before there was a term for it. I tend not to worry about stuff like abduction and stranger danger, as it’s highly unlikely. Anna needs to learn how to function in the world on her own terms, and it’s my job to teach her how to do that, which means letting her do things on her own, away from me. This will be her third year at sleep away camp, which has always been a mixed bag, socially, for Anna. I’m hoping that this new camp will be different, even though I think she gained a lot out of the other camp experiences despite the mean girls in the cabin.

Is there anything about being a mom that makes you panic?
As I previously stated, I don’t panic about the usual stuff like abduction or the house catching on fire. The one thing about being a mom that I didn’t anticipate was the importance of sleep. I took sleep for granted until I was 34. Now, I feel like there’s this hopeless sleep deficit and I’ll never catch up. Going to bed has become the highlight of my day, and a chance to sleep in is the most luxurious thing I can think of. Seriously, I’m either regressing into an adolescent or fast forwarding into an old fart, and neither scenario holds appeal. Nothing fills me with panic more than realizing I’m going to have a crummy night’s sleep, that will effect every single brutal move I make the following day, until making dinner feels like the culinary equivalent of the Gulag. Yes, I know this is pathetic. 

Can you summarize Attachment Parenting in one sentence?
Attachment Parenting is a misguided and socially impractical attempt to compensate for one’s own inadequate childhood.

What does your ex-husband do? Does he read your blog posts?
My ex is a lawyer. I have no idea if he reads my posts on any kind of regular basis (creepy). But he has read some of my work, and greatly objects to my involving Anna in the process. Anna, on the other hand, was outraged when she found out I use a fake name for her, exclaiming “How are people going to know who I am? And I HATE the name Anna!” Kid, “go ask your father” is all I have to say about that.
How many Facebook friends do you have? Are you on Twitter?
I don’t have a lot of Facebook friends. I think it’s under 150. I guess I’m just not popular. And I just put a Twitter button on my blog to find out where all the LA food trucks are at any given moment, just in case I feel like having a Kogi taco on the fly. I also post items of interest for Find A Toad readers. 
Do you have anything in common with The Bloggess? (Gawker called her an “interesting psycho” because she stalked William Shatner on Twitter. She also rides a medical scooter at Disneyland)
Well, we share a first name! No, I have very little else in common with her. I would never stalk William Shatner, and I pretty much hate Disneyland (although maybe if you’re on a medical scooter, you get to cut ahead in line… I’d be in support of that). The Bloggess has occasional posts of comedic brilliance, and I enjoy her, but I think our humor is a bit different. 
Do you watch any reality TV shows?
I watch paranormal shows like Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures. I find them both horribly boring and amusing. And I don’t find them nearly as scary as anything involving housewives. 
Do you think Barack Obama is hot?
Yes, I think he’s hotter than any other president we’ve had, although that competition’s not that stiff. Mostly, I think he’s smart and interesting and has depth. And yes, I find all that very attractive.
Is French First Lady Carla Bruni trying to steal Barack Obama in lieu of her short, conservative husband?
God, I hope not. Michelle could so take her in a catfight.           
Do you have a favorite hobby?
I do trapeze at a circus school near my house. I’ve been doing it for about a year now and feel like I’ve made big improvements. It’s very very hard, but learning to do it has been incredibly rewarding. One of the great side benefits is that you get in incredible shape without realizing you’re exercising. The downside is that you’re covered in bruises and rope burns, so it look like someone’s been beating you.
Jenny, so you have a question for me? 
Christina, do you keep the BTB nasty comments you receive in a special file or spot? And do you reread them sometimes? We love reader comments! But, no, I don’t keep the nasty comments in a special file. I post them (or most of them, except for truly crude or inappropriate ones). If they’re mean, I hit DELETE as fast as possible and never look back. 

As I’ve written previously, having a blog requires me to be less sensitive and have a thick skin because not everyone will like what I (we) do all of the time. Beyond The Brochure is unique and growing pretty fast and I’m really proud of it. I won’t approve comments that personally attack me or our guest bloggers. What blogger would?  I rejected an anonymous comment because it was rude and demanded I remove an apostrophe from a word. It was a gratuitous comment that would add nothing to any discussion.  I’ll use whatever grammar I want! No, I’m not always perfect, but this ain’t the New York Times.  
Want to know what Jenny thinks about the new (gasp!) $1,6oo Bugabook “Donkey” Stroller? Click on her guest post on one of our favorite mom blogs, Sane Moms
Don’t Forget! Jenny is holding a fabulous Mother’s Day giveaway on her modern gift giving blog, Find A Toad. Winner announced on May 4th! You know Jenny has fabulous taste, so click on Find A Toad to enter to win (I won’t tell you what the prize is). Hint: The April issue of In Style called the items “so right now.”



Guest Blogger Jenny: What I Did (And Did Not) Expect About The Mirman School

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Mirman is one of those schools that has a certain mystique surrounding it. Because it accepts only highly gifted children, there are people who refer to it as “the freak school,” “the geek school,” or, in one stunning instance, “the Hitler school” (I have no idea what that means). While I took all these nicknames with a grain of salt, I had some apprehension about sending my daughter Anna there. I felt it was probably the right place for her, but I was worried that it would be too serious, too high powered, and, frankly, too dorky.

Happily, none of these fears manifested into reality. 

Here’s What Surprised Me:

 

  • The kids are not weird. Well, ok, there might be a few little boys running around speaking in monotone voices, but they are few and far between. One of the interesting things about Mirman students is how normal they actually are. They may be super smart kids, but they’re still kids, and they act like kids. The only difference is that the level of carpool conversation is suddenly elevated.

 

  • The parents are far nicer than I expected. I was worried that the parents would be way too into their super gifted children. But what I’ve found is that most of the parents seem sort of puzzled and bemused to have these kids. The parent body is, for the most part, very smart, very educated, a bit shy, and really not snobby in the least. The “not snobby” factor makes dealing with Mirman parents a pleasure, especially on field trips. As far as I know, there are no celebrities at Mirman. Interesting. You can draw your own conclusions about that.

 

  • The workload isn’t nearly as heavy as I thought it would be. Naturally, I’d heard horror stories about Mirman kids working constantly, even during carpool, and how “unnatural” the whole thing was. That turned out to be nonsense. Anna definitely has homework, and it’s homework she has to schedule for herself during the week. It’s made her into quite the little time management pro. And while the school works the kids really hard during the school day, Anna actually seems to spend less of her time at home doing homework than some of her public school friends. I would not say that she is overworked on any level.

 

  • Parents are not treated like royalty. Unlike some private schools, where wealthy parents get the kid glove treatment, Mirman generally treats the parents like idiots. I’m not kidding. I’ve even brought up this fact to other Mirman parents and they crack up as they agree. All the school’s emphasis and efforts involve the kids; it is the most kid focused school I’ve encountered. While Mirman wants parents to give money and be on committees and be involved, it will not brownnose you when you enter the front office. If you’re looking for adulation, seek it elsewhere.

 

  • The commute isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Commuting from Hollywood to Mirman seemed like a nightmare at first, but it’s turned out to be ok. It’s made ok only by the fact that I’m in a carpool that I’ll defend with my life. At the moment, we’re trying to get together enough kids on this side of town to justify a bus. I dream about the bus, and someday my dream will be made a reality.

 

  • My child is even happier at Mirman than I ever imagined. I had a feeling that Mirman was the right place for Anna, but her transformation over her first year there has been extraordinary. She came in at fourth grade, at a distinct academic disadvantage, and has still managed to get really good grades. It has focused her competitive instincts, but also emphasized good citizenship and kindness. Her self-confidence in terms of public speaking has skyrocketed. She’s making new friends. All in all, she’s a different child now, and I really credit Mirman with all the positive changes.

 

  • The kids are so nice. Really, they’re nice. The bullying problems that seem so prevalent at other schools are far less at Mirman. If there’s a problem, it gets handled. And one of the advantages of putting together so many highly gifted kids, who were so often the butts of jokes, is that they’re generally kind to one another. These kids have empathy for one another. While Anna has had some girl politics moments, they have been mild and easily handled.
  • It’s more diverse than I thought. The reality about private school is that it will never be as diverse as public school. So, while Mirman doesn’t resemble a microcosm of Los Angeles, diversity wise, it’s still better than I anticipated. And because all the kids share the trait of high intelligence (that’s the main criterion for entrance to Mirman), this seems to be what draws them together, not race. My daughter heard plenty of racial slurs at her old public school, but hasn’t heard one thing at Mirman. Good.

 

As Anna’s first year at Mirman draws to a close, I’m delighted with the school. It has exceeded every expectation I had for it, and my child is having a wonderful educational experience. It’s so nice when a school turns out to be such a pleasant surprise.

Jenny Heitz has worked as a staff writer for Coast Weekly in Carmel, freelanced in the South Bay, and then switched to advertising copywriting. Her daughter started 4th grade at Mirman School this year. She previously attended 3rd St. Elementary School. Jenny has been published recently in the Daily News and on Mamapedia, The Well Mom, Sane Moms, Hybrid Mom, The Culture Mom and A Child Grows In Brooklyn. She now writes about gift ideas and products on her blog, Find A Toad.
 

"Got MILF?" and Guest Blogger Jenny: Dads, Minivans & Private Schools

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Do We Love Or Hate Minivans?
Wednesday night I attended a book signing for Got MILF? The Modern Mom’s Guide To Feeling Fabulous, Looking Great And Rocking A Minivan by Sarah Maizes. About a year ago, Sarah invited me to her house for a MILF focus group. She was writing the book and wanted to talk to a group of MILFs. In case you don’t know, MILF is short for “Mom I’d Like To F@#k.” Bewildered and flattered, I accepted her invitation. I’d never met her before, but how could I decline? I’d never been called a MILF! Over wine and food, we talked, laughed and discussed what was and what wasn’t a MILF. 

Fast forward to the book signing at Book Soup where Sarah was her usual funny, charming self. After the book signing I got home and started reading Got MILF?. It’s hilarious! I couldn’t put it down and you won’t be able to either. Being a MILF is about more than looks–it’s a lifestyle. 

For example, Sarah wonders if a MILF can “pimp a minivan…apparently you can and it’s pretty f@#king awesome!”

For more information, visit Sarah’s blog, Mommy Lite.
Toyota Sienna

Now, let’s talk about dads who drive minivans. At private elementary schools. Yes, that’s correct. While there is a Willows dad who drives a Maserati (no, not my husband!), there are a lot of minivans too. 


Not surprisingly, Jenny has an opinion about Toyota’s new Sienna Minivan ads targeting dads:

Recently, there’ve been billboards dotting L.A., boasting a Toyota Sienna minivan with the copy “Daddy like” emblazoned on it.

At first, I was confused. Was Toyota trying to reposition the Sienna as a cool car for hip dads? Because that seemed like a truly Sisyphean task. There’s just nothing, NOTHING cool about a minivan under any circumstances. Parents only buy minivans because they have to drive one to accommodate children, ridiculously large car seats (seriously, could these seats GET any bigger? They’re like the Barcaloungers of the road), big furry animals, shopping done in bulk, oddly shaped artwork, furniture destined for Goodwill, luggage for five, copious carpooling, and everything else that needs hauling around town.

Any bells and whistles found in a minivan quickly gets buried under the detritus of a hundred mornings of breakfast in the car, flyers pulled off the windshield and thrown in the back, pet hair, old candy wrappers and the remains of roughly forty five empty Starbuck’s grande latte containers. There’s mustard on the fake wood dash and the CD changer got clogged with Bubble Yum long ago. Cool? Even the people I know who own minivans and ARE actually cool would never describe their car using such language.  They don’t really “like” their car; they “suffer” it instead.

Such cool people, incidentally, hardly ever include dads. Dads tend to get a pass in the dork car department. Seriously, do you know any dad who drives the minivan as his main car? Nope. They tend to go for the Saab, or the BMW (the little wagon, for instance), or an Audi. No minivans. Unfortunately, that’s usually given over to the mom, who doesn’t deserve such a fate but has to look practicality square in the face, every single day.

A minivan, then, is a pragmatic choice. A minivan says “I already know this car isn’t cool, but I don’t care.” Because let’s face it: if you’re a parent who’s really into cool, and needs a big car, and have money, you probably own an SUV. Yeah, an SUV that drives really well and feels more like a car, except on stilts, and has leather interior and holds less than a minivan and gets worse gas mileage. If you look in any carpool pick up line at any private school in Los Angeles, you’ll see the automotive pecking order demonstrated en masse. Lined up, motors idling, there will be mostly SUVs, from the super sized Escalades to the more petite models, ranging in price from the highly ridiculous (Range Rover) to the modest (Toureg, the smarter driver’s Porsche Cayenne). Next come the minivans, usually unwashed and slightly dented, and then perhaps a smattering of sedans. A person like me, with one child? I drive a Mini and park it. Anywhere.

But back to Toyota’s viral Sienna advertising campaign, which is funny but totally misguided. As it turns out, if you go online and actually view the viral ads on YouTube, you’ll discover that Toyota’s not pushing the Sienna as being cool for dads at all. In fact, Toyota is making fun of those self-satisfied perfect parents who supposedly drive minivans. Viral Dad is a balding dorkmeyer with horn-rimmed glasses and a hoodie; Viral Mom an aging blonde sorority girl. Self-congratulatory and pretentious, Dad yaps on about freedom while running errands (“I can take all the time I want”), while sticking his head out of the window and letting the wind rush through his “hairs.”

Yes, it’s funny, if it were on Saturday Night Live. But what makes it funny is contempt for the parents, who are obnoxious. Usually, in advertising, the person in the ad either has something you want (a cool car), or is too hopeless to get the thing you want (a cool car). These people are hopelessly awful, AND they have the car. This does not make me want to buy a Sienna. It, in fact, repels me. The ad is amusing, yes, but it probably isn’t going to sell many minivans.

And that’s fine with me.

Here’s the link to the Toyota ad. If you only watch 90 seconds, it’s a must-see!

We leave you with this question: If you could only drive either a Minivan or a Maserati,which would it be? Leave us a comment!!

Jenny Heitz has worked as a staff writer for Coast Weekly in Carmel, freelanced in the South Bay, and then switched to advertising copywriting. Her daughter started 4th grade at Mirman School this year. She previously attended 3rd St. Elementary School. Jenny has been published recently in the Daily News and on Mamapedia, The Well Mom, Sane Moms, Hybrid Mom, The Culture Mom and A Child Grows In Brooklyn. She now writes about gift ideas and products on her blog, Find A Toad. 

Guest Blogger Jenny: Chaperoning A Mirman School Field Trip

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Going Into The Field

Well, I finally bit the bullet and did it: I went on a Mirman field trip. I’d been putting it off all year for some reason, figuring that eventually I’d find a trip that worked with my schedule. The Norton Simon room 4 field trip came up, and I decided that I’d just go for it.

My previous experiences with field trips wasn’t exemplary. When I was in school, field trips were a day off of sorts, a chance to get out of the classroom and into an environment where the standard rules didn’t apply. I remember a particularly awful Disneyland field trip in high school (Crossroads, exploring the tightly run and dictatorial aspects of Walt’s world through a Marxist lens. This was considered normal by Crossroads standards). On that trip, two boys got stoned on the People Mover and then tried to exit during the ride; they landed in Security Land, much to the chaperones’ chagrin.

When my daughter went to Third St. Elementary, I helped out on a couple of trips before deciding that my nerves simply couldn’t take the noise level, or the fact that many of the boys seemed more interested in hitting each other than focusing on the trip at hand. Since I couldn’t really discipline the kids (and the teacher didn’t seemed inclined, either), it was a really awful time.

 

Mirman, however, proved to be the opposite. Tightly controlled and bound by non-negotiable rules, the kids filed in a fairly organized fashion onto the bus. The noise level was completely bearable; I sat with another mom the whole time and had a really nice time. Lunch was held across the street from the Norton Simon, and again it was so orderly you would’ve thought it was a Garden Party. There was no running around, no screaming, just kids arranged in groups on blankets happily gorging their lunches. Wow.

About a week prior to going on the trip, Anna had handed me a packet of materials, detailing each gallery and work we were to discuss with our assigned group. It was the sort of art history material that seemed better suited to an AP Art History course than a group of 4th graders, but she appeared unfazed. “Please memorize it,” she told me. I think I stuck my tongue out at her.

 

I was relieved to discover that none of the parents had memorized the packet. We all seemed kind of intimidated, even the dad who was an artist. I shouldn’t have worried, though. As scholarly and serious as the handout was, it was also made clear that getting through the entire thing was probably impossible, and the teacher was going to help move our groups along in a timely fashion.

I was assigned three kids (not my child. No one was matched with their own child). Three of these kids was definitely enough, because they couldn’t have been more different. I got The Dreamer, The Businesslike Scholar, and The One Who Wouldn’t Shut Up.

 

“What would happen if I touched this painting?” The One Who Wouldn’t Shut Up asked, stepping perilously close to a Degas.

“I press an Eject button, and a catapult throws you out of the museum and into the parking lot,” I responded.

“Really?” she asked, intrigued.

 

I tried to keep them moving. Luckily, The Businesslike Scholar moved into action, hunting down the paintings we were supposed to study. He was so efficient, in fact, that sometimes he even wrote about works we didn’t need to focus on. He particularly liked Brancusi.

 

The Dreamer had difficulty getting a word in edgewise, mostly because she kept raising her hand, something that The One Who Wouldn’t Shut Up didn’t appear to honor. The Dreamer rose to the occasion, though, once we reached Popova’s cubist masterpiece, The Traveler. Made up of bright, colorful cones, it had letters scattered within it.

 

“That’s Russian,” The Dreamer said, pointing to the letters. “It’s all broken up, but I can make some of it out.”

 

Interesting.

When I mentioned the dramatic personality differences, one parent told me I had it easy in comparison to her charges. “One of the kids said he 

was going to be in charge of the group,” she said. “I had to shut that down pretty fast.”

 

The rest of the tour was a blur. Sit in front of this painting and write a poem based on a particular format. Discuss the differences and similarities between two Picassos painted during difference periods. Finally, free write for three minutes on the energy evoked from the nonrepresentational work of Sam Francis.  Once they all settled down, it was amazing how enthusiastic they were about their work. They honestly liked it. And they really understood the concepts, which was gratifying since I was frantically trying to keep up and wasn’t sure I was doing the trip justice.

 

Since this is the first Mirman field trip I’ve been on, I’m not sure they’re all this rigorous. It definitely wasn’t a “free day.” It was work, it was school, and it was taken very seriously. All in all, I enjoyed it. And the kids seemed happy too. Overall, I found it refreshing that a field trip really was taken seriously as an educational opportunity. Now, my daughter seems to relate to art in a very different, much more connected way.

 

Even though I was apprehensive, this field trip was a positive experience. I’d definitely do it again. Although definitely NOT the Sacramento overnight; I was exhausted enough after just four hours.

Jenny Heitz has worked as a staff writer for Coast Weekly in Carmel, freelanced in the South Bay, and then switched to advertising copywriting. Her daughter started 4th grade at Mirman School this year. She previously attended 3rd St. Elementary School. Jenny has been published recently in the Daily News and on Mamapedia, The Well Mom, Sane Moms, Hybrid Mom, The Culture Mom and A Child Grows In Brooklyn. She now writes about gift ideas and products on her blog, Find A Toad.

Guest Blogger Jenny: Loitering On The Wait-List

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I know, I know. You thought that once the private elementary school letters came out, you’d be off the hook. You’d know the score. You’d pick a school from those that accepted your child and write that fat check and that would be the end of it.

Until your child was wait-listed.

The wait-list feels a bit like private school purgatory. Your child hasn’t been accepted, yet. Perhaps there isn’t enough room at the school. Perhaps there’s some other, inexplicable reason for the wait-list status. You just don’t know. When my daughter was wait-listed at both the schools she applied to (Mirman and John Thomas Dye), I was confused. What did it mean? Was it all over? Should I just accept the fate of another year at public school and forget about the whole thing, regarding the admissions process as some bad dream now receding into memory?

My stepsister, who attended Archer and Windward, filled me in. “Wait-list is good,” she explained. “Many people just get rejected outright. The wait-list means they’re still interested.” It turns out that she was right. I got the call from Mirman in late June that there was a space, she took it, and the rest is history.

In the meanwhile, though, there were many awkward moments. After all, while you’re going through the surreal private school admissions process, you’re usually blabbing all about it. Your friends, family, acquaintances, mailmen, and the guy at the dry cleaner have all heard something, in excruciating detail. And now, it’s just limbo. There’s a feeling of inadequacy as you try to explain the situation, rationalizing it to anyone who will listen (this is an excellent time to have a shrink). Wait-listing implies second choice, second best, second rate, and you just know that’s not true about your child. You feel like, at any moment, you could be given a ticket for private school wait-list loitering.

Of course, a parent whose child does get in everywhere faces some unfair scrutiny, too. I know someone whose daughter was accepted everywhere she applied. She’s a wonderful student and a great kid. Someone had the nerve to imply it was because she was black. Pretty nasty and spiteful, isn’t it?  Hint: she writes this blog. Maybe there’s no winning here.

Anyway, some advice to those who have been wait-listed. Don’t stop contact with the schools. Call them every month or so, just to check in and remind them you’re still interested. If there’s a function, you might want to attend it, again to display your willingness to participate and be a good sport. Besides, even if your child doesn’t get in off the wait-list, if you love the school, you might want to reapply next year. If that’s the case, you definitely want to keep a good relationship going. You certainly don’t want to burn any bridges.

In any case, pay no mind to the doubters and insulters. Those people are not your real friends (like you needed me to tell you that). Be a proud loiterer! Hang in there, and you might get a surprise phone call, too. And if you do get that phone call, CALL THEM BACK IMMEDIATELY. Because it’s called a “list” for a reason, and there’s more kids on it. Swipe up the space on the spot and don’t think too hard about it. If you’ve worked this hard and come this far to get your child into the right school, the decision should be a done deal. Then, take a deep breath, sit back, and enjoy the moment.

Jenny Heitz has worked as a staff writer for Coast Weekly in Carmel, freelanced in the South Bay, and then switched to advertising copywriting. Her daughter started 4th grade at Mirman School this year. She previously attended 3rd St. Elementary School. Jenny has been published recently in the Daily News and on Mamapedia, The Well Mom, Sane Moms, Hybrid Mom, The Culture Mom and A Child Grows In Brooklyn. She now writes about gift ideas and products on her blog, Find A Toad.