Guest Blogger Jenny: Happy Holidaze & The Big Holiday School Program

Happy Holidaze

Now that the holidays are behind us, I can afford a bit of introspection regarding them, particularly where school is concerned. Take, for instance, the holiday school program. The holiday school program is practically an American institution, and certainly a tradition I’m loathe to disparage. But then again, the silliness the holiday program has morphed into deserves at least some scrutiny.

My daughter goes to The Mirman School, a school that isn’t known for flash or grandiosity. This is a school more likely to nurture the next Oliver Sacks than the next Katy Perry. While performance is definitely an aspect of the Mirman curriculum, it’s not a major emphasis; it’s not a performing arts school.

So imagine my surprise upon attending my first Mirman holiday program. Held not in the school’s spacious auditorium, but in the enormous Presbyterian church across the road (not a bad seat in the house, and that includes the restrooms), this was a full scale production. The classes wore color coded t-shirts (the theme was The Colors of Winter). There was a band (the bass player stunk). There was fairly elaborate staging and a tremendous amount of organization. It was impressive, in a grand way. It also seemed unlike anything else I’d seen come out of the school.

In contrast to this hoopla was the general blandness of the program itself. This isn’t necessarily the school’s fault. In an attempt to please everyone, and please them in a way that is almost entirely secular, the life has been bled out of the “holiday” program. Watching the Mirman program, I noticed no references directly to any religious Christmas significance. Chanukah was mentioned, along with temples and Judaism (there’s really no way to secularize the Jewish holidays fully). Kwanza got a song (a really bad song that seemed, well, unfortunate). And winter was mentioned, repeatedly, for its colors (pretty much the same in LA year round, although perhaps the air’s less yellow in December), its climate (the day of the program it was raining, so that was at least a change from 74 and sunny), and its activities (totally irrelevant to our climate and culture).

So here it was, this hugely produced show, the product of months of work, falling fairly limp. Certainly it was good for the kids to perform, and perform well. But it so missed the boat in terms of being anything meaningful.

Lest you say that I just need to send my kid to a more religious, less secular school if I so miss the spirit of Christmas, I have another example to prove you wrong. I have friends who send their children to an Episcopal school that has an enormous Christmas pageant every year, in a church, with nothing but big holiday significance. Yet, this program doesn’t deliver, either. One friend said she just gets her daughter ready and basically hangs out in an adjacent room, watching the event on closed circuit tv (“I can never really see her,” my friend admitted). Another couple drops their son off and then heads to a bar across the street for a couple of cocktails. So, there’s spirits involved here, but they don’t have anything to do with yuletide festivities.

One of the things that struck me so hard regarding these elaborate holiday festivities is how much they are about pleasing the adults. After all, the much beloved (and truly wonderful) music teacher at Mirman needs an outlet for his talents, the school feels the need to show just where your money is going, and the parents want to see results. But what about the kids?  Of course there’s benefit to learning to operate in a group, sing on command, and follow detailed instructions. But at private school, kids do these things, in one form or another, all day long. I’m not sure making them practice for hours, wear reindeer antlers and sing totally secular songs is exactly a value added.

Then again, I’m not the kind of parent eager to document every moment of my child’s life with pictures, video, and awestruck wonder. I live with the kid. I know she’s wonderful already. The school uses the professionally shot videos of the production as a fundraiser, practically forcing parents to purchase the DVDs of these “special moments.” The thing is, with all due respect to my child and her performing prowess, I’d rather not buy the DVD and donate some extra cash directly to the school instead.

Is the story the same at other schools across LA? I’m not sure. Maybe school productions are just inherently unsatisfying on some level; you’re there, mostly, to see your child, not to be massively entertained. Yet, can’t they do both? Couldn’t kids sing songs about the religious significance of Christmas, and the religious significance of Chanukah? Do we have to listen to “The Reindeer Rap” and pretend it’s a Christmas song? There must be a compromise in there, somewhere, that’s both politically neutral (being correct might be a lost cause) and, in the end, entertaining.

Or maybe I’m just being a Scrooge.
Jenny Heitz has worked as a staff writer for Coast Weekly in Carmel, freelanced in the South Bay, and then switched to advertising copywriting. Her daughter started 4th grade at Mirman School this year. She previously attended 3rd St. Elementary School. Jenny has been published recently in the Daily News. She now writes about gift ideas and products on her blog, Find A Toad.

Happy New Year! No Resolutions For This Mom…

Happy New Year!

Welcome 2011!

I don’t have a set resolutions when it comes to being a mom. Instead, I’ve got a more attainable set of very flexible “goals” or “things I’d like to do”. No commitments here! 

1. Get along with every mom at my kids school, even if it means giving them the fake smile and b.s. “How are you?” Can I really do this? Yes! Unclear. 

2. After taking a year off from volunteering at the school, I’ll jump back into volunteer work in the fall. I really will!

3. Try to chaperone a field trip. I get extremely car sick and bus sick, so probably not a great idea.  A kid throwing up on a bus is one thing, but a mom? Maybe I’ll give it a whirl. We’ll see. 

4. I’ll suggest an extensive list of detailed changes to the Willows School’s reading program. Just kidding! It’s great the way it is. Besides, schools HATE when parents do this.

5. Sign up to coach one of my son’s sports teams. Hmmm. Which one? None!!! It would be a disaster. I don’t know anything about sports (except a bit about tennis). And, way too much testosterone on the sports fields for me. 



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Minority Families At Private Elementary Schools: Is Enough Being Done To Support Diverse Families?

By Porcha Dodson, Co-Author, Beyond The Brochure

Los Angeles is often described as one of the most culturally and ethnically diverse cities in the Unites States. A melting pot where people from all social and socio-economic classes can create a comfortable space for themselves and their families.  The topic of diversity and inclusion has always been a top priority for many private elementary schools in Los Angeles. Most accredited schools have a diversity mission statement that fits with the school’s educational philosophy. Diversity initiatives at private elementary schools are in place. Efforts are made to recruit and retain minority students. Why then, do some minority families feel like there are very few, if any, support services for them at their schools? Why are some diverse families feeling like they are excluded from social events both at the school and outside of school? 

 

A recent dinner with friends who work in some of LA’s top private schools led me to think about this subject, one which I’ve spent a considerable amount of time working on when I was Director of Diversity at The Curtis School.  Over dinner, my colleagues and I pondered the question, “why are so many minority students and families still feeling isolated within their private school communities”? The name of a very well-known music industry super-star and his family were mentioned as parents who are feeling isolated at their children’s school. In this case, race, not class is the dividing issue.

 

I spoke with a private elementary school family who had recently fallen on hard times as a result of the recession. The woman’s husband had to take a job in another state. The woman felt totally isolated from her peer families at her child’s school and was no longer invited to many of the social gatherings, party book functions and play dates where the family was often first on the list of invited guests.

 

This is one example of how minority families can feel isolation due to a change in socio-economic status. Although this situation is unique in its own way, it illustrates the fact that at some schools, additional time must be spent on developing effective retention strategies for minority families and incorporating more sensitivity training into professional development workshops.

 

The National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS) encourages schools to educate their teachers and staff on how to be sensitive to all students and work to develop these practices and lessons into everyday classroom instruction and the admissions process.

 

Last week, a good friend shared with me that there was an amazing new family from out of state that had just joined her daughter’s third grade class. The mother was friendly and always made time in her busy work schedule to volunteer and be an active member of the classroom community. The family lives in a gated community in Inglewood because the father had accepted a job at the last minute at a huge law firm in LA and this was the first house they found. The mother tried hard to set up play date after play date, but seemed to continuously have no luck. Finally, one day she called a mom that she was friendly with and asked if they could get together. The other mother’s response was, “Sure, but I heard that you live in Inglewood and we DON’T DO Inglewood”. Needless to say, these same patterns continued throughout the course of the next year and finally the family ended up leaving the school.  In my experience, this is not uncommon. Minority families an be isolated due to socio-economic status, geographic differences, race or other factors. Let’s face it, race still matters.

 

If you are a minority family applying to schools, there are a few things you should look for during your tours, interviews and visits to the school. Do you see diverse students, teachers and staff at the school? Does the school have a diversity committee that allows parents to join? Once your child is at the school, if it does not have a diversity committee, talk to your head master about setting up one. In addition, help organize a parent-driven committee that is responsible for acknowledging and creating campus-wide programs that celebrate each cultural holiday (Chinese New Year, Black History Month, Cinco De Mayo and more). A guest speaker series that focuses on social justice and inclusivity is also a format that is used successfully by many private elementary schools in Los Angeles. All of these practices will help ensure that diversity is welcome and celebrated throughout the school community, making the campus more inclusive to every family.

 

If you are a minority family applying to private schools, The Alliance, as it’s known among private schools, can help with all aspects of the admissions process.


Independent School Alliance for Minority Affairs of So. Cal
 www.thealliance-la.org or 213-484-2411

New School Opening! Brawerman Elementary School East

Brawerman Elementary School of Wilshire Blvd. Temple will be opening an East Campus Elementary School with Kindergarten openings for Fall 2011!

Schedule a tour! Tours through Jan. 6th.

New location at the historic Temple Campus
3663 Wilshire Blvd. Los Angeles

Hannah Bennett(213)-388-2401 x 159 or hbennett@brawerman.org

For more information about the new school, click here: http://www.brawerman.org/content/pdf/postcard_bes_east__6_1_7077.pdf

Guest Blogger Barry: LA’s Private Elementary School "Royalty"

Prince William & Kate: the 'Tea Towel' Debate
Royalty: Kate Middleton and Prince William

Royalty in LA private elementary schools? You bet. Surely you do (or soon will) recognize these archetypes from your private school:
  • The scrawny kid with the voice so shrill it curdles your spinal fluid who lands the lead solo in the holiday concert
  • The overweight, slow-witted, petulant non-athlete who starts on the 5th grade basketball team
  • The obnoxious bully who pummels half the class yet it’s always the victim’s fault
  • The classroom cut-up whose “experiment” proving that a lead weight sinks in water beats out the invention of nuclear fusion for first place in the science fair

What do they all have in common?

How did these wunderkinds reach such exalted heights?  Innate talent?  Hard work?  Upbeat attitude?

 

No, they are PRIVATE SCHOOL ROYALTY.  Yes, like Lucky Chucky (aka Prince Charles), Balding Billy (aka Prince William) and the red-headed step-child (aka Prince Harry) that so captivate the British tabloids, these private school children get the plum spots on sports teams, choruses, plays, and classroom roles of various types solely by nature of their pedigree – who their grandparents and parents are and how much they contribute, or in many cases, how much they COULD contribute.  You see, the really savvy private school royalty give a taste of what could be, and then watch the school do somersaults to make their blessed offspring worthy of the family name in the hope that even more of the royal coffers – might we even say the crown jewels – spill into the school’s annual fund, capital fund, and, the holy of holy: endowment.     

 

In the old world, endowment was by birth.  In 1776, these words changed all that:  “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”   Two-plus centuries later, in the private schools of Los Angeles, it seems the old world has returned.  Thomas Jefferson had no idea what he was up against.

 
Barry Perlstein is Christina Simon’s husband. He is a graduate of Harvard College and Harvard Law School. He works in private equity. Barry’s claim to fame? When he was at law school, he was on Law Review with Barack Obama, who was the president of the Harvard Law Review. The day of the Law Review photo, Barry decided to study sleep in and watch re-runs of Hawaii Five-O. So, we have a photo of President Obama and the entire Law Review, except my husband, who of course, could care less. So much for photo memories!