I’m so excited that a very personal post I wrote about how hard I find it to make make mom friends is a Featured Post on BlogHer Moms today. I also touch on the issue of friendship at my kids’ school (more on that in a later post).
Here’s the piece:
Lately, I’ve read several good articles and blog pieces about the difficulty of making new mom friends. I can identify with these authors because last year seemed to be my year of constant angst about friendships. Do I have enough friends? How can I make new friends? Does it really matter? That was the broken record constantly re-playing itself in my mind.
To continue reading, click on BlogHer
I’ve been tortured by this since my daughter started private school in the fall. Not only are the moms harder to connect with, the girls also seem less eager to connect with each other than what we’ve experienced in the past (i.e. at preschool, the park, classes, etc). In the meantime, I see my friends at the local public school making friends and seeing their kids bond easily with others. Since we are in a great school district, I agonize over whether private school was the right choice for us.
Hi Masie, thanks for your comment! I can relate to exactly what you’re talking about. It’s really a difficult issue that I’ve experienced at The Willows School. Most of the moms at The Willows have always been very hard for me to connect with (if not impossible).There are a few exceptions that I’m thankful for. It’s the culture of the school, in my opinion. This started in K for my daughter and DK for my son and has continued. It never changed. It definitely impacts the ability of the kids to make friends and be involved in a community, to have play dates and friendships. I don’t think its all private schools, but its definitely the culture at some of them in L.A. I think the school administrators play a role in helping create a real sense of community (or not). How much authentic effort does the school make to help facilitate connections between parents and kids, especially in K and the early grades? After 7 years, we are ready to move on to Viewpoint School! -Good luck with everything!- Christina
I visit this site sometimes because I’ve been going through the greuling process of Kinder apps for my daughter (Which, by the way, was and still is the biggest headache EVER! Wasn’t at all prepared for the marathon.) Happened upon this article. This is an issue that really bothers me. I too have just a few good friends here and we aren’t a circle. It can be frustrating and lonely. I even find myself envying my husband’s circle! Every so often I try to put further efforts into making better bonds, but it’s really hard to do and even harder to find people that you are interested in possibly starting a friendship with. It is a little comforting to know that I’m not the only one in this boat!
Hi Marie,
Thanks for the comment! I wrote the piece because I think its a more common issue among moms than many of us realize…For me, its really hard to make new mom friends, to connect beyond a very superficial level. But, I’m optimistic that there are other awesome moms out there who are open to new friends like me! And, yes the kindergarten process IS long and grueling. xo. Christina
Marie, do you think it’s a problem that is worse at private schools?
Actually, I’m more perplexed by the kids’ relative lack of enthusiasm for each other. My daughter plays with the other kids at school, but they don’t go out of their way to greet her in the morning. They don’t seem interested in walking home or to the car together after school. And our school is one that really makes an effort to nurture community.
It’s not that the people and kids aren’t friendly. They are! It’s just that they seem to relate differently than what I’ve experienced in the past.
At first my daughter seemed just as perplexed as I am. But sadly she doesn’t seem to notice anymore.
Marie, I think at L.A. private schools, especially starting out in kindergarten, it takes time even for the kids to form friendships. Basically, a group of kids who don’t really know each other are put in a class together so it can be a challenge to connect, at least in our experience. It does happen, but slowly sometimes. Not sure why either. If your school makes an effort to nurture community than that’s great! – Christina