Category: Beyond The Brochure

A Waverly School Dad Writes About Why His Family Loves The Progressive Pasadena K-12 School

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The Waverly School arrived in my life like some sort of granted wish.  It’s as if I willed it and its staff into existence from my most pie-in-the-sky hopes for my children’s education.

Once we had children, I started panicking about the state of public education, and started daydreaming about some impossible alternative. What I saw blurrily floating before me was:

  1. A modest, energetic place – not too big or small – where children run through the door in the morning shrieking gleefully and run out the door in the afternoon even happier.
  2. A place where children with unusual personalities or gifts are treated like a delicious bit    of variety and are respected for their eccentricity rather than punished for it. 
To continue reading more of Waverly School dad Michael’s blog post, click on the link HERE
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How To Describe Your Child’s "Weaknesses" During LA Private Elementary School Admissions

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It is so important to be able to portray your child realistically when speaking with admissions directors you encounter during the private school admissions process. This does not mean that I think it is wise to describe your child’s idiosyncratic behaviors as weaknesses.  It is preferable to let people know that you accept your child – quirks and all. The question is: what do you say about the quirks? What can you say that tells the truth in the most positive way possible?
 
Some children have issues that fall in the social/emotional arena. Perhaps they are noticeably shy and have a hard time moving into new activities. This can cause parents concern if they think their child will receive some kind of bad mark when they do not jump into an activity during a group play session or assessment. Some children have social challenges – like sharing or taking turns, that can create some disruption. Some are just active – I had one student stand up on the table and start marching during a one on one paper and pencil kindergarten readiness assessment.
 
There are also children who have already shown signs of cognitive or academic concern. More often this is the case when a child is brought to a private school at an older age, when parents have grown concerned about their child’s progress.
 
The answers are not clear-cut. I return to a refrain I have used before – be sure to do your homework! It is not a good idea to take a child who is struggling academically and think that applying to a highly competitive academic school will be successful. Make sure that the schools you are applying to offer a program that fits your child. Ask questions openly that will determine this. Then, frame how you speak about your child in a way that does not apologize but accurately describes your concerns. Similarly, if you have an active child, for instance, who does not have a very good attention span, be sure that you explore this issue well in advance of speaking with admissions directors about it. Talk to your preschool director about it. If you have had an evaluation done, or had some counseling from your pediatrician, then you enter the discussion from a place of educated concern, looking for an appropriate solution to the situation. Ultimately, you do not want your child to be somewhere where they cannot be successful. If you are prepared and educated, you can speak about your child’s issue without it reflecting poorly on you or your child. It frames the discussion in a problem-solving way rather than a defensive one.
 
Using phrases like “observer” rather than “withdrawn”, and referring to “challenges” rather than “weaknesses” may seem trite but are not a bad idea. The goal is to have a positive and real discussion about your child and the school’s ability to provide the best kind of education for that child. If you can keep this in mind, the road getting there becomes a bit smoother.
 
Anne Simon, Beyond The Brochure co-author, is the former head of Wildwood Elementary School. She is also the former dean of the Crossroads Middle School, where her daughter is a graduate of the high school. 

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Do You And Your Spouse/Partner Agree About The Best Type Of L.A. Private Elementary Schools?

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Photo courtesy Bing Images

Christina, my wonderful and talented stepdaughter, (sidebar: we are on a mission to recast that word in the positive light that reflects our relationship, and that of many other stepmother-stepdaughter relationships) has written recently about the importance of establishing a family message that can be presented consistently to schools as you journey through the elementary admissions process.

 

Part of this task is to determine whether you and your spouse are really looking for the same thing in the education of your children. It is remarkably easy to think you see things similarly but when you are up against it, perhaps even at an admissions open house, you discover that there are some significant differences in your perceptions or expectations.

 

It is generally the case that people are comfortable with what they understand. We have all responded to our own upbringing, either by valuing it and wishing to recreate it for our children, or by questioning our own experience and seeking something different. It is very important to have this conversation at home well before you begin to build your family brand and participate in parent interviews.

 

It is likely that one of you has taken the lead in gathering the necessary information that will determine what schools you visit and apply to. There is a lot of learning that takes place along the way. One example is that you will discover that the best competitive academic schools have come to realize that ‘hands-on’ learning is appropriate and preferred in many instances at the elementary level. Looking for the classroom where children sit quietly in rows and keep their eyes on the teacher in the front of the room who talks may seem familiar, but it does not mean that the best teaching is going on in that school. Be sure that both you and your spouse have the benefit of this new level of understanding that you have found. There are articles on the NAIS (National Association of Independent Schools) website that can help with this need to keep current with what is accepted as “Good Practice” in elementary education.

 

The importance of you and your spouse/partner being on the same page when it comes to interviews at schools cannot be underestimated. Admissions directors can sense any rift, or even minor difference, between you very easily, and that will create concern immediately. So do your homework – both of you, and have the necessary conversations, even if you don’t think you need to. What you discover will either cement your family message or help you determine the issues that need to be resolved before you can move forward as a united front.

 

In the end, isn’t this just part of what being a family is? I think so!

Anne Simon is the co-author of Beyond The Brochure: An Insider’s Guide To Private Elementary Schools In Los Angeles.

Guest Blogger Jenny: Is There A Mom "Uniform" At LA Private Elementary Schools?

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Catwalk or Carpool? (Badgley-Mischka, 2011)
The other day I read an article in the New York Times. Its headline was, “Mom Uniforms for School Run Are Designers,” meaning that Manhattan mommies dress up for private school drop offs and pick ups. It sort of made me laugh at first.

But then I started thinking about it more. Some of the mothers interviewed in the article were working mothers and dressed fashionably and accordingly. Thus, it wasn’t really a “Mom uniform,” it was a “Work uniform” (I hardly think that the New York Times would bother with an article commenting on the “Dad uniform” of an Armani suit and tie, so there’s some sexism at work there). And the other mothers, well, maybe they just wanted to look nice. Or actually wear the lovely stuff they’d purchased. Maybe drop off and pick up times were a good a time as any to pretty up.

Then I started thinking about the moms at Mirman, my daughter’s school. Were they dressing up? Nope. The parent body at Mirman ranges from fairly harried moms of multiple kids to some very understated yet classy dressers. Plus, some parents who arrive in surgical scrubs. Now, that’s a uniform with integrity, and there’s nothing like it to give everyone an inferiority complex about whatever paltry-thing-that doesn’t-involve-saving-human-life that they do for a living. Ok, there’s one super fashion mom at Mirman; she often dresses like the mannequins on Net-A-Porter. She’s very cool and her mommy uniform is solely her own. I have no sense that she’s dressing to impress anyone; she’s just pleasing herself.

But Mirman is strange (in a good way), and the parent body is overrun with academics and brainiacs who maybe aren’t that into the culture at large, so I decided to ask, in a totally unscientific and unbalanced way, how the mom uniform manifests at other private schools.
Hermes Birkin Bag

Take one uber-traditional school for instance. This school is a religious school. It has a fair amount of hefty old money attached to it as well. One could imagine Birkin bags and Chanel flats. I asked my very understated but classy friend, who sends her daughter to this school, what the mom uniform was there.

“Pretty dowdy,” she replied. “A bunch of Frumpelstiltskins. I swear, one of the moms even wears a Bump-It.”

This wasn’t really the answer I was expecting. She later admitted that maybe there were some Chanel flats lurking during those parent meetings. But they were the wrong Chanel flats, worn without irony.
I don’t think that that’s typical for LA private school mom uniforms, though. My friends at two very popular schools (both extremely progressive schools) speak of many thousand dollar handbags, premium fashion brands like Prada, hipster fashion houses like Rag and Bone. I suppose they feel pressure to compete on some level, since life after high school is still just one degree removed from it; you can end up participating in high school level lunacy forever if you aren’t careful.
So why, when we parents aren’t attending these schools, our children are, is the “mom uniform” even an issue? Before you (if you haven’t already) dismissed me as shallow and superficial, I think there’s some significance here. For instance, as I’m not a particularly dolled up mom and I don’t own a super designer handbag, I’m not sure I’d want my kid to attend a school full of families who all value such things and aggressively display them. This isn’t about “looking nice,” it’s about not flaunting your wealth in an outward way. The flash and bling just aren’t part of my family’s culture. So the minimal emphasis on appearance at Mirman suits me just fine, although it might not suit someone else at all.
Bump-It. So Tacky!

 

In the end, I suppose, you pick the “uniform” you feel most comfortable in, for vanity or necessity, whether it’s high fashion or jeans or workout wear or suits.  But, you might want to lose the Bump-It.


See our previous post Fashion Dispatch to find out what moms at top schools are wearing.
Jenny Heitz has worked as a staff writer for Coast Weekly in Carmel, freelanced in the South Bay, and then switched to advertising copywriting. Her daughter started 4th grade at Mirman School this year. She previously attended 3rd St. Elementary School. Jenny has been published recently in the Daily News and on Mamapedia, The Well Mom, Sane Moms, Hybrid Mom, The Culture Mom and A Child Grows In Brooklyn. She now writes about gift ideas and products on her blog, Find A Toad. 


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Your Family’s Key Messages Part 2: Who Is Your Family?

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Who Is Your Family?




Your Family’s Key Messages: Make Your Application Standout is our most-read blog post. We think it resonates with readers because the idea of developing a “family message” makes sense when you are preparing to be asked to answer a variety of questions about your family in written applications and parent interviews. 


It’s not always easy to discuss your family’s values, interests, work, volunteerism, academics, educational philosophies, diversity, your child’s personality and interests–and more– with numerous admissions directors. That’s why thinking about what you’ll write and say ahead of time will help convey the most important things you want each school to know about your family. When I was applying to schools, I found it helpful to think of my family as a  “brand”. 


A family “brand” or set of messages is really just a clear, concise way of describing the most important, meaningful things about your family that will be remembered by your audience: admissions directors. What makes your family unique? What is memorable about your family? What is it about school X that would be great for your kid? What unique attributes will your child offer to school X if accepted?


Being able to describe both your family and your child in an authentic and interesting way is an essential part of communicating with admissions directors. When you talk and write about your family, you want admissions directors to get to know you and your child and understand why you think their school is the best fit for your child. Of course, you know that your family is different from every other family applying. But how will admissions directors know this unless you tell them? Don’t be afraid to ask yourself, “Who are you?” “Who is your child?” What real-life examples can you write about or talk about in interviews or on the make your family stand out? What can you say in parent interviews that will leave a lasting, positive impression on the admissions directors who interview you? What should you write to make your application “pop”? Admissions directors often receive written applications that are too long, boring and sound like a brochure. 


In Part 1, I list my own family’s key messages. Here are a few more examples of what we mean by family messages. You’ll notice that in each of these messages, the family’s values and/or interests is discussed, backed up by examples. Or, the child’s behavior, personality trait or interests is described in a clear, honest example. Ideally, you should talk about  your family’s values or interests, illustrated by a real-life description to give the example.  

  • When Henry plays soccer, he passes to any kid on the team who is open, not only to the “best” players. (note: this is instead of saying, “Henry is a leader”)
  • Our family loves to travel. We want to expose our kids to other cultures and places. Our trips aren’t elaborate or expensive, but always involve an educational component for our kids.
  • We enjoy entertaining family and friends. We’re in the catering business. Opening our home for events and parties is one of our favorite things to do. We would welcome the opportunity to host school events at our home. 
  • Our daughter’s preschool has a strong sense of community and we’ve made close friends with other parents. We are looking for a school with a strong emphasis on community spirit in both students and parents. 
  • School X appeals to us because my husband and I both attended very traditional east coast private schools. We are seeking a traditional education for our kids. We feel our child will benefit from school X’s structured classroom environment, academic excellence, strong athletic program and a focus on religious values. We have been members of your school’s church for 3 years. 
  • I’m a former yoga and dance teacher. I’d welcome the opportunity to volunteer with your after-school enrichment program to teach a kids dance or yoga class. 
  • We are both scientists. Our daughter is showing some real potential in the arts. We want a school that will inspire and support her artistic interests. Your school has a fantastic arts program that our daughter would embrace. 
  • I’m a graduate of your school, class of 1985. My education gave me an excellent, well-rounded foundation that I’ve been able to use to build a successful career in medicine. I’ve also stayed close to a group of friends I met during my years as a student here.  I want my kids to be able to have the same incredible education I received from my alma matter. 
  • I chaired our preschool auction for two years. We raised a record amount of money and were able to solicit amazing donations from local businesses –and have fun at the same time! I think my auction experience would be beneficial to your school’s fundraising efforts. 
  • Our entire family is interested in sports. We play tennis, volleyball and soccer. The fact that your school has beautiful athletic fields, a former professional athlete as the athletic director and a new gym would definitely be an asset for our kids. 
  • Our daughter is very interested in mechanical objects. She is fascinated by the way things work and likes to build and take apart legos and other toys/objects. This isn’t a surprise since her mother is an engineer. She is observant and quiet and is known for being friendly to other kids in her preschool class. 
  • If accepted to private school, our son will be the first member of my husband and my family to attend private school. I was the first person in my family to go to college, after coming to the U.S. at age 8 from El Salvador. We are a bilingual family. 
Hopefully, giving thought to who your family is (parents and child) and what you are seeking in a school will help admissions directors get to know you and want to learn more about you. You’re creating a connection between your family and the school.  That means learning as much as possible about the school and illuminating the ways your child and family will be a good fit for the school. 

* Thank you to Anne Simon for her contributions to this post!

 
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