My daughter at the National Constitution Center, Philadelphia
I’ve been a parent at two very different L.A. private schools over the past eight years. There’s a lot I expected to see (and I did) like luxury cars, Chanel handbags and enormous homes. But, some stuff has been truly unexpected.
Here are the 5 things I’ve been most surprised by:
1. The number of grandparents who pay their grandkids’ tuition.
2. The willingness of parents to pull their kids out of school for extremely fancy vacations to Thailand, Europe, Africa, Tahiti, Turks & Caicos and other destinations.
3. The amount of school and extracurricular activities per kid.
4. How little influence parents really have unless they’re a board member or the BFF of a board member.
5. The big HUGEemphasis on sports.
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Playing tennis together as a family is one of our favorite activities. At Beverly Hills Tennis public courts.
“WELL-TO-DO parents fear two things: that their children will die in a freak accident, and that they will not get into Harvard. The first fear is wildly exaggerated. The second is not, but staying awake all night worrying about it will not help—and it will make you miserable.”—The Economist,July 26, 2014
An article in The Economist, “Cancel That Violin Lesson,” encourages parents to stop piling on the lessons and give kids more time to play outside. I sighed loudly when I read it. Yet another article advising parents to lighten up on our kids’ over-packed schedules. Instead of cramming the schedule with private lessons for our kids, the article recommends we give them more unscheduled free time. This is exactly the opposite of what I’m seeing well-heeled private school parents do in L.A.
Private lessons are the new status symbol. As my kids get older, I’ve noticed more of their friends and classmates taking private lessons of all sorts. When your kids attend private school in L.A., private lessons are a part of life for most families. It’s essential to the get ahead—and stay ahead—culture at highly competitive private schools. I’m not immune to this private lesson craze for my kids. But as I try hard to balance their activities, it’s getting more difficult.
Kids at L.A. private schools take private lessons for everything. From goalie lessons to batting, hitting, quarterback, music, voice, skiing and fencing lessons, there are private lessons to help kids excel at virtually every activity. These lessons supplement the sport or activity. And it’s not just sports and music. There are tutors who help kids get organized (i.e turn in their homework or figure out which test to study for), in addition to assisting with academics. Instead of dropping the extra lesson, parents seem to be increasing the quantity of private lessons. Group lessons are a thing of the past. Now, it’s all about private, one-on-one lessons.
When I hear that one of my kids’ classmates is taking private lessons in the same activity, I secretly wonder if my own kid should be taking private lessons. All my insecurities as a mom bubble to the surface. Will my kid be disadvantaged during a game when he competes with his teammate who takes twice weekly private lessons? I’ve largely resisted this urge with a few exceptions, primarily because private lessons for anything are expensive and very time-consuming. Participating in the activity should be enough, right? With the exception of music lessons (who can teach themselves violin?), I haven’t felt the need to add private lessons aside from tennis. Being able to play tennis as a family is important to me. But, for the past year, my son has been to busy for tennis lessons. Go figure.
My daughter hitting it! Family tennis.
I don’t want my kids to assume that whenever they try a new activity, private lessons are required. But, when I hear that a kid on one of my son’s club sports teams was seen at the park with a private coach, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. Sometimes, private lessons are a way to gain favor with a coach or instructor. It can mean playing time or other advantages for your kid.
None of us want to be THAT mom who denied her child private coaching only to find him/her sitting on the bench during games. Sometimes, the pressure is really on. One of my friends increased her kid’s music lessons when another kid challenged her kid’s position in the middle school orchestra. My friend’s kid was able to hang onto the spot, but only after several months of extra $500 a week lessons.
My daughter has an audition for the school Jazz Lab in the fall. I’m assuming her weekly guitar lessons will be enough to prepare her for the audition. There’s no way I’m going to cut out that lesson, even on the advice of The Economist. Not a chance.
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Hope you’re having a wonderful summer! Finding the school that’s right for your child can be complicated (it was for my family). Spending some time thinking about the various types of schools over the summer can be helpful when you start your school search in the Fall. We cover school options in our book, Beyond The Brochure and we’ve written a series of posts about differences between progressive and traditional schools on the blog. Let’s face it, few of us stumble on the right private school in L.A. without giving considerable thought to this issue. Here’s a great piece by our friend Sandy Eiges of L.A. School Scout, an educational consulting firm.–Christina
In evaluating whether or not a school could be a fit for your child, you are going to be looking at how the school addresses a number of needs – academic, social, athletic, artistic, even moral. You are going to be judging how well the school does what it says it does, and whether or not what they do also matches what you believe in.
There are different types of schools out there, including: highly academic, gifted, developmental, special subject (i.e. art, science), traditional, religious, progressive. You are usually the best judge of your child’s ability to swim in a particular environment. While making this determination can be challenging, there are some areas you can look at in evaluating the school, and areas to look at in assessing what your child needs. While there are many additional factors to consider in thinking about a school for your child – geographic, cultural, financial, to name just a few – here are some questions to consider to help you on your way:
Your child and your family:
1. Does the type of school fit your family? Are you a loosely structured family or a more traditional family, or somewhere in between? More traditional families are generally more interested in traditional, academic, more formal schools; more loosely structured families might be more interested in “progressive” or developmental schools. You should see families like yours at schools that feel like a fit.
2. What is your child like? How do they respond to structure? Will they fare better in a larger physical environment or a smaller one? With more students in a classroom or fewer? Do they need a lot of one-on-one time or are they fairly independent?
3. How does your child learn? How does the school teach? Do you think they can accommodate his style of learning?
4. If entering Kindergarten, is your child ready-to-learn? Are they ready for a full school day, and the social, emotional and physical independence required in Kindergarten?
5. Does the school offer additional resources if your child is struggling academically? Does the school offer additional resources if your child is gifted?
6. If entering middle or high school, does the school offer enough classes and enrichment in the subjects of particular interest to your child?
Evaluating the School:
1. What does a typical day look like? Is a schedule posted for children and parents to see? Are parents invited into the classroom? Are there opportunities for parent involvement?
2. Does the school communicate with parents in a collaborative way? Is there a culture of openness in communication with teachers and administration?
3. Do children sit at assigned desks, either individually or in small groups?
4. Is there homework, and if so, how much?
5. Are there textbooks, and how often are these updated? Are they grade-appropriate? What other resources do students have access to?
6. Where do graduates tend to go on to middle school, high school or college?
7. Is there on-going professional development for the teaching staff? Is the school accredited?
8. Does the school share its curriculum with parents? Does the curriculum match the school’s philosophy?
So, for example, a highly academic school might see its role as providing foundational skills and knowledge, so that the student learns to perform at a high level of academic achievement; whereas a more developmental or progressive school might see its primary role as cultivating the student’s love of learning, and discovery of their own interests and abilities. Of course all schools should do both, but what they consider to be of primary importance will direct the curriculum, the instructional philosophy, and the feel of the school day.
What would your ideal school look like? If you can take a step back and put yourself in your child’s shoes, what do you think they would say their ideal school should look like? While you want to be comfortable with what is happening at school, ultimately the school should be a fit for your child.
L.A. School Scout™ helps families make informed and thoughtful choices about the schools that will best suit them. Our mission is to promote, encourage and applaud children’s enthusiasm for school and learning; take the mystery and anxiety out of the school finding process for parents; and provide families with comprehensive information on all of their educational choices. For more information about our services, please contact Sandy Eiges, L.A. School Scout™ at 877.877.6240, 310-926-0050. or sandy@LAschoolscout.com or visit www.LAschoolscout.com
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The gorgeous Wildwood School garden takes inspiration from Richard Louv’s national bestseller Last Child in the Woods a popular read for the Wildwood School community during their elementary campus outdoor space renovation a few years ago. In the book, Louv comes to a startling conclusion: Today’s children can likely tell you more about the Amazon than they can about the last time they went on a hike. More and more, urban children are becoming alienated from nature—and it’s not healthy. In fact, Louv reports that researchers find a direct link between nature and children’s physical and emotional well-being.
The Outdoor Classroom
Wildwood School built a lively area called the Outdoor Classroom that features raised planting beds, trees, an outdoor whiteboard, and classroom area. Besides caring for their gardens, students study sustainability, life cycles, social and cultural implications connections to agriculture, and their roles as stewards of the Wildwood gardens. It’s a welcoming environment for art, math, and science lessons.
ButterflyGrowing corn
Students compost, plant, maintain, and harvest in the garden. There are seven raised beds, fruit trees, vines, a composting area, worm bins, a pollinator habitat, and a gathering area. The garden plantings are related to grade level curriculum. For example, when 5th grade students were studying the founding of the United States they planted a colonial herb bed. When 4th grade students were studying the Spanish influence on early California they planted a salsa garden.
Kids harvesting garden treasures
Students have studied water systems, conducted soil tests, and prepared meals from their harvest. One of the most important components of the school garden is the role the garden plays in bringing the school’s community together.
Kids harvesting carrots
Wildwood’s student Community Involvement Leadership Team conducts presentations about sustainability and environmental responsibility for fellow students. They have also carried out a lunch table composting system so all students compost every day.
The outdoor classroomA Pollinator
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All schools, both private and public, rely on parent volunteers to help raise money to fund essential projects. The tuition at private schools doesn’t cover the cost of educating a student, so additional funds are raised for programs and financial aid. Public schools have been hit by budget cuts and rely on parent volunteers to raise much-needed funds for programs, staff and other necessities. So, no matter where your kids attend school, you can be certain your help will be needed with fundraising. If you’re planning to join a fundraising committee or chair a big event, this book is an excellent resource. A Mom’s Guide To School Fundraising is a wonderful gem that can be used as your guide for how to successfully raise money for your kid’s school.
Sarah Barrett’s book offers an overview of the many different possibilities for school fundraising and how to plan and run these events/programs. Sarah’s been a PTA co-chair, raising thousands for her daughters’ schools. In the process, she’s written a go-to book that will help you go beyond the bake sale and take school fundraising to the next level. Importantly, this book talks about how to raise money for your type of school by analyzing what parents at your school will buy and what types of fundraising events they will–and won’t–support. A disconnect between what a school’s parent community will support and what a fundraising committee plans can spell failure, resulting in low event attendance and volunteer hours and money lost.
What I love about this book is how Sarah uses her years of experience to explain a wide array of fundraising events, how to decide on the right event for your school (yes, she gives sample solicitation letters), how to plan and structure these events and how to manage your way to the day after the event when you’re exhausted and happy, counting up the money your committee has raised.
A Mom’s Guide To Fundraising covers:
How to raise money by planning events tailored for your school
Event promotion within your parent community
Creating a fun, motivated committee of volunteers
Who and how to ask for donations
Types of fundraising events from Auctions and Party Books to Walk-A-Thons, Carnivals, Holiday Boutiques, Golf Tournaments, Potlucks and Book Fairs.
Detailed information about big and small fundraising events targeted for your school community
Tons of tips about how to get creative with fundraising for your school
Resources you can use to operate your event
Which event will provide big returns on investment
When I co-chaired our former school’s auction, it was a big, successful event and endless hours of hard work. When it was over, I left a huge binder filled with all my notesand work product with for the next co-chairs. Fundraising shouldn’t require reinventing the proverbial wheel, but too often when one group of volunteers is finished, the new group has to start over. This book will help you prevent that waste of precious time.
Best of all, this book is like sitting down to brainstorm with Sarah and leaving the meeting with pages filled with great ideas. If you’re planning to help your school, private or public raise money, this book is a valuable resource for you and your volunteer colleagues. If you’ve been raising money at your school for a few years and you’re out of ideas, get this book for inspiration!
If you’re working on a school auction, Sarah’s also written the Auction Success Kit, available on her website for $59.99.
Sarah Barrett has been fundraising for her daughters’ public school since 2008. In school years, that’s a lifetime! She’s been part of a team that has helped raise over $500,000 for our neighborhood school every year! Sarah’s success is a repeatable plan, which she turned into a book in 2013. Sarah has an M.A. in Education from Pepperdine University. She lives in Studio City with her husband and two daughters, who attend the local public school. Since 2006, Sarah has owned SarahBear’s Cards and Creations. Check out her blog at www.amomsguidetoschoolfundraising.com
This post was not sponsored or compensated. I received a copy of the book for review.
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