Beyond the Brochure – Page 139 – By Christina Simon, Anne Simon and Porcha Dodson. A blog for parents who are applying to private elementary schools in Los Angeles. And, what life is really like at some of these schools.

Reader Question: How Do Parents Deal With "Gap" Year When Public Schools End At 5th Grade and Most Private Middle Schools Start At 7th Grade?

July 6, 2010May 16, 2013 admin Leave a comment

We pulled this reader question from our April 8, 2010 post, “Your Family’s Key Messages”. In case you missed this in the comments section…

Anonymous said…

I just discovered your blog and find it enormously informative and helpful. I am trying to decide if we should start our daughter in private K or for middle school. I am finding that many LAUSD elementary schools end in 5th grade while private schools have major entry points in 7th grade. Are there other schools that accept students for 6th grade? How do other making the switch to private for middle school deal with the gap year?

June 10, 2010 8:34 AM

Christina Simon said…

Dear Anonymous, thanks for reading our blog! We love writing it!

Your question brings up an issue lots of LA parents deal with. Here are my thoughts. If you start in public kindergarten, you will need to find a school for 6th grade, since public schools are K-5. Then, if you decide to move your child again for 7th grade, that could be 3 schools in 3 years. That’s a lot of transition…just something to think about.

Or, you could move your child to a private school that has a 6-12 or a 6-8th grade and create more stability for your child. Kids get admitted to private school from public schools regularly. Private schools are very well aware of the “gap” problem and tend to be understanding of it, if they have space.

Some private schools DO except students for 6th grade, Brentwood and Crossroads are two that I believe accept applications for 6th grade. At other schools, there are less spots, as I understand it for 6th grade. However, it can be done. Generally, points of entry are K, 3rd (limited spots), 7th, 9th (limited spots).

The “gap year” issue is a tough one for everyone. It’s something that certainly can be handled, it will just require some time and effort to plan ahead, knowing it’s coming up ahead for your child. You could also leave public school for 3rd grade, 5th grade, etc. Sometimes, this is a smart strategy that a lot of parents use. Openings occur every year in every grade, it’s just a question of numbers. If you prepare in advance, you will find a spot, I’m sure. Just remember, like kindergarten, you’ll need to apply to several schools, not just one. And, there is an exam your child will need to take to get into private middle school.

One last point. A very savvy educational consultant told me recently she tells her clients that if they have a “gap” year to go to public school for a year and then apply to private for 7th, since private schools don’t like to “poach” students from other private schools. In other words, if you go to a private for one year and then apply out to another private right away, that can be tricky, for the reason called “poaching”. Interesting advice.

Hope that helps!!! Good luck!- Christina

June 10, 2010 8:58 AM

Anonymous said…

Thanks again for this helpful advice!

Financial Woes Faced By Private Elementary Schools…Slight Improvement?

July 5, 2010July 5, 2010 admin Leave a comment

As the economy recovers every so slowly, a very good source tells us that some private elementary schools expect to be able to offer more financial aid this year to incoming families. Last year, private schools were hit extremely hard by requests from both incoming and currently enrolled families for financial aid (some current families requested aid for the first time). With the economy improving slowly, many schools expect to be able to offer more aid to a wider number of incoming families than last year, according to our source. Still, don’t expect a boom year for financial aid just yet.

The article below from the LA Times (3/23/09) highlights financial woes faced by private schools in LA…we don’t think much will change in terms of how schools plan their big fundraising events and annual giving campaigns for 2010-11…”challenging” and “moderation” will still be the operative words until the economy recovers from the recession, in our opinion. The jobless rate is still very high and some private school families are doing everything they can to keep their kids in school and make ends meet. We think most private elementary schools are trying to be sensitive to this reality and make sure all families feel welcome and included at fundraising events.

From the LA Times, March 23, 2009:

“Most solicitations don’t begin with the words “don’t give,” but that’s the approach being used this year by the private Oakwood School in a clever, celebrity-packed appeal timed to its annual fundraising drive.

In the 3 1/2-minute video, Danny DeVito, Jason Alexander, Steve Carell and other Hollywood stars voice such sentiments as “The economy is in the toilet, so don’t give” and “You’d be stupid to give” before getting to the real point: “Unless you care about your children and their future,” and “Unless you care about families who had a hard year and need some help with tuition.”

Created by parent volunteers, the video is an example of the inventive methods private schools are using this spring to generate giving at a time when traditional benefactors may be hard-pressed themselves.

Oakwood’s “Don’t Give” campaign was a precursor to its major fundraiser, a star-studded event Saturday at The Lot in West Hollywood, featuring comedy, music and an auction. The video was meant to be an internal communication but was distributed on YouTube, said James Astman, Oakwood’s head of school.

“The purpose was to communicate to our constituents a vital but easily misunderstood message: that in these challenging times, giving is more important than ever,” Astman said. “In the short run to support financial aid and in the long run to build our endowment.”

Pricey tuition

Many independent schools in Los Angeles are sending the same message as they deal with a faltering economy that is forcing middle- and even upper-income families to think twice about whether they can afford to pay annual tuitions that top $25,000 at some campuses.

As a result, the proceeds of many fundraising appeals this year are earmarked for financial aid budgets, and more schools say they will use the money to help families who may not have needed assistance in the past but are now struggling. Other schools are taking a more direct route, asking donors to fund tuition scholarships for a year or more.

And though schools are still holding gala fundraising dinners, many are cutting back on extravagances and trying to ensure that most of the proceeds are used to support student programs. Loyola High School’s annual auction next weekend is being coordinated by two parents with backgrounds in accounting.”

click below to read the entire article:

In tough times, private schools take innovative approaches to fundraising

July 5, 2010January 18, 2012 admin Leave a comment

As the economy improves slightly, a very good source tells us that private elementary schools expect to be able to offer more financial aid this year to incoming families. Last year schools were hit extremely hard by requests from both incoming and enrolled families for financial aid. With the economy improving, many schools expect to be able to offer more aid to a wider number of incoming families than last year, according to our source.

This article from the LA Times (3/23/09) highlights financial woes faced by private schools in LA…we don’t think much will change in terms of how schools plan their big fundraising events and annual giving campaigns for 2010-11…moderation will still be the operative word until the economy recovers from the recession.

Most solicitations don’t begin with the words “don’t give,” but that’s the approach being used this year by the private Oakwood School in a clever, celebrity-packed appeal timed to its annual fundraising drive.

Pricey tuition

click below to read the entire article:

In tough times, private schools take innovative approaches to fundraising

Kindergarten And The Bully

July 3, 2010April 1, 2013 admin 1 Comment

It’s taken me four years to feel strong enough to write about my daughter’s first few months of kindergarten at The Willows Community School in Culver City, CA. Even thinking about it is difficult. When my daughter started kindergarten, I knew something was wrong starting from about the third week of school. She was having a rough transition to kindergarten. She didn’t cry when I dropped her off and she seemed to like school. Like many kids, she took time to get used to her new surroundings and the new kids. That’s normal. Still, I sensed that she wasn’t connecting with girls in the class like she usually would. She was playing with the boys and staying away from most of the girls. Hmm. Something was off. In preschool she had three best friends, girls. My intuition was telling me there was something wrong, but I couldn’t put a finger on it. A few weeks passed and things still felt off. Then, about two months after kindergarten started, the answer emerged.

My daughter had a bully in her class who was picking on her and a few other girls. Yes, a B-U-L-L-Y. This girl had started in Developmental Kindergarten a year earlier so she had been at the school a year longer than my daughter who was new to kindergarten. This girl also had a teenage sibling who had already graduated from the school. I knew my daughter was having a hard time making friends with the girls in her class. She was doing just fine with the boys, but the girls were a different story. Then, as kids do, she broke down sobbing one day and told me enough for me to piece together details. I still remember it vividly…where we were, what we were doing, what she said. Still, I was new at the school and the last thing I wanted to do was to start calling the school with complaints. Yet, this was too serious to ignore.

Luckily, a mom in our class who has two older kids, asked me if my daughter was having similar problems to her daughter. We compared notes and then to my surprise and relief, our daughters’ experiences were virtually the same. They were being excluded from play with the girls in the class. They were being told they couldn’t play certain games on the yard. They were being called unkind names.

The mom of my daughter’s classmate knew exactly what to do. She pulled the head of the school aside at Back To School Night and told her the situation. The school moved quickly to address the problem. It took many months for the situation to be resolved, but it was finally under control by the end of kindergarten. It was a rough year. At the end of second grade the bully was asked to leave the school.

The parents of the bully seemed to take little or no responsibility for the problems. They seemed to find her bullying endearing and even charming. At a playdate, with me and her parents sitting right there, this girl suddenly picked my daughter up, lifted her and dropped her. My daughter fell hard on the ground, startled and scared. I didn’t know the bully and her parents were going to be at the playdate or I would not have taken my daughter. Her parents chided her and let it go. We left.

I found the behavior of the child and parents appalling. I never spoke to them about it and they never approached me to discuss it. I can say this: if either of my kids ever bullied or were unkind to another child, I’d be on the phone to the other parent to let them know I was handling it at home. Our kindergarten year was up and down, not nearly as welcoming as we would have liked. All it takes is one child to disrupt an entire grade. Ours had it. Yours might too. You just never know what your new class will be like–the kids or their parents.

Private elementary schools encourage parents to let the school handle problems. They don’t like “helicopter parents” and parents who meddle. That’s fine, but sometimes, you just want to talk to another mom in your child’s class and get her thoughts, opinions, ask her the question, “what would you do?” I recently asked the mom who helped me identify the bullying problem how she was doing. She said “great, now that (the bully’s name) is no longer at the school.” Even she has bad memories that will last a long time.

Calling parents directly when there is a conflict between kids is discouraged by the schools. I understand why. It can–and does–lead to arguments, accusations, disagreements. Still, I will always call another family if my kids ever do something I feel requires an apology. Parenting is difficult on a good day and sometimes we all need another parent to talk to who understands the situation. And, I’ll always reach out to other moms. It helps me be a better mom.

Our Preschool Director: Private School Admissions Is Part Of Her Job

June 30, 2010December 15, 2012 admin Leave a comment

If you’ve read Beyond The Brochure, you know that my daughter attended Montessori Shir-Hashirim, a wonderful preschool near the Hollywood Hills. One of the reasons I picked the school was because I knew that the director, Elena Cielak, had years of experience helping families get into top private elementary schools. When it came time to apply, she served as an enormous wealth of information, a calm presence during a stormy season and a guiding hand throughout our school application process. She has many of the top admissions directors on her speed dial and is well-respected across the city at top schools.

Here’s how she helped us from the beginning of our school search to the very end:

Suggested excellent schools for us to tour
Asked me what I thought of each school after I visited the school
Met with me for more than an hour to discuss our application strategy (where to apply, how to get started with the written application, what my daughter would need to know for visiting days, etc.)
Helped me narrow the list of schools where we’d apply (She felt strongly we should apply to one particular school, but I didn’t think it was right for us so we didn’t apply)
She did NOT review our written applications, but did tell me they were very important
Met with me after our terrible parent interview and agreed we should withdraw our application
Advised me when to call admissions directors to say “thank you” and also when to call one school to say it was our “first choice”
Believed strongly that our daughter would get into several good schools
Spoke to admissions directors about our daughter and advocated for her
Reassured me when I was panicked about the sheer number of applicants for so few spots
Helped us decide which school to pick (The Willows). How? She knew our family and our daughter extremely well. She told us our daughter would do well at The Willows and the specific reasons why.

Elena was doing her job, which is to help families at her school get into private elementary schools. She’s good at her job and loves doing it. She really sets the standard for how a preschool director can make a difference for a family’s application process. You can visit the school’s website at, http://www.montessorihollywood.org/

If you find your preschool director is trying too hard to “steer” you towards schools you don’t want to tour or is pushing you to choose a school from your options that isn’t your top choice, understand that she/he is running a business. The preschool director may have multiple families they are trying to place at the same schools and may be doing a lot of behind-the-scenes work to make sure every family at their preschool gets into a private school and that no family is wait-listed or declined. That said, it’s YOUR choice. Take the advice, but it’s your decision and you’ll have to be happy at your new school long after your child leaves preschool.