Public vs. Private School: Public Debate or Family Decision?

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Recently, I saw a comment on a popular LA mom blog which read:

“I have looked at several public schools, and mentally I am having such a hard time with the idea of my child attending for kindergarten, all of them look like cement-and-chain-link fence prisons. What do you guys think? Will my child be emotionally scarred by the sheer ugliness of those places?”

The responses to this mom’s comment ranged from openly hostile to supportive. I didn’t comment. Sarah Maizes, LA mom and writer of the hilarious blog, Mommy Lite, did leave the following comment:

“Yes. Yes it will…and while you’re at it, you should also avoid pictures of hungry children.”

She went on to blog about the fallout from her comment the next day (see her post “Fresh Picked Fight” 7/12/10).

As some of you know, I have never attended private school. I’m a product of LAUSD, Santa Monica Unified, UC Berkeley and UCLA. My elementary school, Topanga Elementary, was idyllic. Hidden away in the hills of the canyon and shaded with beautiful trees. My university and graduate school were also quite spectacular public schools.

You’ll also notice that we do not criticize public schools on this blog. Like you, we’re well aware of the very public problems LAUSD struggles with. We also know that within LAUSD there are some very good schools. One of my oldest friends is on the LAUSD School Board working hard to make things better. Obviously, her children attend public school. And, private school is simply not a financial option for many families.

Private schools aren’t perfect either. The problems may be different (or maybe not), but they do exist. Toxic parents, bullies and other issues are common at private schools. We’ve written about some of these issues on this blog (see “Kindergarten And The Bully” 7/2/10). Quite frankly, some of the private elementary school campuses are downright depressing. They definitely won’t make you Ohh and Aah! One school I toured made me want to run the opposite direction because it was so run down and in need of serious repairs.

Rather than have an explosive public vs. private “debate” or shouting match online, we think the decision about where to send your child is personal and for your family. You may be open to public OR private school when your child is still in preschool. Look at all your options!

The public school vs. private school debate is really only of interest to us on this blog to the extent that parents want to figure out how to transfer from public school to private school and to learn more about how to get into private elementary schools. And, we try to paint a real picture of what life is like at private elementary schools…and, no, it’s not perfect.

Even within private school parents, “debate” goes on about which is better, a traditional or developmental or progressive school (this is code for which school will help your child get into Harvard-Westlake and then an Ivy League college).

Choosing a school is such a personal family decision that we want to make sure parents have as many options available to them as possible. The difficulty of getting into private elementary schools in LA is what motivated us to write Beyond The Brochure and create this blog. The more information, the better!

K-8 Private Elementary School Model

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Families at The Willows Community School recently received a letter from the Board of Trustees updating us on campus projects and thanking families for our help with various school accomplishments over the past year.

 
The letter also discussed the merits of a K-8 school on the same campus, which is the Willows School model. Here is an excerpt from the letter:
 
“At The Willows, children have the opportunity to become natural leaders, and all our students, from youngest to oldest, are surrounded by a faculty that knows each individual child. Remaining in an environment which many of our students know as a second home allows our children to retain their confidence and sense of safety during both childhood and early adolescent years that follow…and, once again, this year’s 8th grade graduates who applied to independent schools received multiple acceptances and gained admission into one or more of his top choices.”
 
When I was applying to kindergarten for my daughter, I didn’t really think about the various school models. We loved the Willows immediately, but I was more concerned about getting into at least one school! Therefore, I focused on the kindergarten and not much beyond that. It’s difficult to project ahead years down the road when you have a young child. But, I can say that the K-8 campus is really unique. When I walked into Marlborough this summer to drop off my soon-to-be 10 year old daughter for summer camp, I was amazed at how Marlborough is really designed for older kids (it is a 7-12 school). It’s a wonderful summer program and a fantastic school. My daughter has loved every minute at summer camp, but she misses The Willows.
 
 

Reader Comment/Question re: "Gap Year"

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We pulled this reader question from our April 8, 2010 post, “Your Family’s Key Messages”. In case you missed this in the comments section…
Anonymous said…

I just discovered your blog and find it enormously informative and helpful. I am trying to decide if we should start our daughter in private K or for middle school. I am finding that many LAUSD elementary schools end in 5th grade while private schools have major entry points in 7th grade. Are there other schools that accept students for 6th grade? How do other making the switch to private for middle school deal with the gap year?

June 10, 2010 8:34 AM

Christina Simon said…

Dear Anonymous, thanks for reading our blog! We love writing it!


Your question brings up an issue lots of LA parents deal with. Here are my thoughts. If you start in public kindergarten, you will need to find a school for 6th grade, since public schools are K-5. Then, if you decide to move your child again for 7th grade, that could be 3 schools in 3 years. That’s a lot of transition…just something to think about.

 

Or, you could move your child to a private school that has a 6-12 or a 6-8th grade and create more stability for your child. Kids get admitted to private school from public schools regularly. Private schools are very well aware of the “gap” problem and tend to be understanding of it, if they have space.

 

Some private schools DO except students for 6th grade, Brentwood and Crossroads are two that I believe accept applications for 6th grade. At other schools, there are less spots, as I understand it for 6th grade. However, it can be done. Generally, points of entry are K, 3rd (limited spots), 7th, 9th (limited spots).

 

The “gap year” issue is a tough one for everyone. It’s something that certainly can be handled, it will just require some time and effort to plan ahead, knowing it’s coming up ahead for your child. You could also leave public school for 3rd grade, 5th grade, etc. Sometimes, this is a smart strategy that a lot of parents use. Openings occur every year in every grade, it’s just a question of numbers. If you prepare in advance, you will find a spot, I’m sure. Just remember, like kindergarten, you’ll need to apply to several schools, not just one. And, there is an exam your child will need to take to get into private middle school.

 

One last point. A very savvy educational consultant told me recently she tells her clients that if they have a “gap” year to go to public school for a year and then apply to private for 7th, since private schools don’t like to “poach” students from other private schools. In other words, if you go to a private for one year and then apply out to another private right away, that can be tricky, for the reason called “poaching”. Interesting advice.

Hope that helps!!! Good luck!

Christina

 

June 10, 2010 8:58 AM

Anonymous said…

Thanks again for this helpful advice!

 

An "Insider’s" Perspective On Private Elementary School Admissions

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Are a few letters of recommendation and a phone call really all it takes to get in? It depends on who you ask.

Recently, I had an interesting conversation about our book with a private school mom. She is successful and accomplished, with Ivy League degrees. She and her husband live in one of the toniest neighborhoods in Los Angeles. She has successfully navigated the private elementary school admissions scene at several top schools, including John Thomas Dye. She is funny and nice.

The conversation turned to Beyond The Brochure when this mom asked me what my book was about. I told her it was for any parent who plans to apply to private elementary schools. I explained the thesis of our book, which is that private school admissions is an insider’s game, but anybody can play the game if they first understand its hidden rules.

This mom and her husband are the quintessential “insider” family. Therefore, she had difficulty understanding why we would write a book like Beyond The Brochure. With her family’s connections, there would be no need for anything more than a few well placed phone calls and letters of recommendations to make the application process a mere formality. Acceptance letters for this family have always been forthcoming. The idea of receiving a rejection letter simply never occurred to her.

I pointed out that for many families, rejection from top schools is a reality. The competition is fierce and parents don’t always understand what’s happening behind the scenes in the admission offices. The application process for many parents (including me) can be very stressful.

Italic
The topic turned to “feeder” preschools i.e. those preschools that send lots of kids to specific elementary schools. See our blog posts about “feeder”schools: Feeder Schools To Harvard-Westlake and Feeder Preschools To Private Elementary Schools and Westside Feeder Schools

We also discuss “feeder” schools in the book.

This mom pointed out that parents pay tuition to get access to the preschool director’s contacts at “feeder” preschools so again, why would they need a book or an education consultant to help them? Did she realize, I asked, that even at “feeder” preschools families get rejected from competitive private elementary schools? But, they are buying entree into top elementary schools by attending these preschools, she reiterated. I thought to myself, what if your child doesn’t get into one of the “feeder” preschools?

This, my friends, is the “insider” parent perspective on private elementary school admissions. We wrote Beyond The Brochure to give every parent the same information as the “insider” family. It doesn’t really matter where you get the information about private school admissions…from a friend or a book… the point is to get it–and use it!
To comment, click on “comments” at the end of any post. You don’t have to register or sign in. You can choose to leave your comment anonymously (just scroll down until you see “anonymous” under your name options).Sometimes Google Blogger requires you to click “Post” a few times before your comment will go through

Reader Question: How Do I Find Out What Families At A School Are Really Like?

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The Willows Community School Yearbook 2009-10

Finding out what families at a particular school are really like is one of the most challenging and elusive parts of the private elementary school process. Of course you want the school where you send your child to be a great place for your child and you. But how can you be sure that will happen?

 

If you’ve been on a private elementary school tour, the tour guide may have been a parent at the school. Most likely, the school selected a friendly and knowledgeable person to lead the tours (this is a highly coveted volunteer job). But, not always. We went on one tour where the mom leading our tour was rude, snobbish, couldn’t discuss the school’s curriculum and wouldn’t make eye contact with us. But, we did find out that her husband was an important plastic surgeon (who, it was obvious, had done work on her face) and she was wearing Chanel! Not exactly what we were looking for. We passed on that “trophy” school. It was hard to ignore her behavior and look at the school beyond the tour guide. If we had like the school more, we would have gone back for a second tour.

 

So how can you find out more about what the families at a school are really like? It can be hard to ever really know until you’re actually a parent at the school, because you don’t know which families will be in your child’s class. But, here are a few tips to give you some ideas to sort it out:

 

Look at a school’s yearbook. You can get a feel for the school from the yearbook photos, theme and style.

 

Don’t be misled by the school’s location. Schools in very affluent areas can be warm and down-to-earth and schools in less affluent areas can be extremely pretentious.

 

Look at the “feeder” preschool to the elementary school. This can give you a clue about the families. If the elementary school accepts a lot of kids from a co-op school or a temple school that might help you understand the type of families your child will go to school with.

 

We’ve said this before, but if possible, try to go to school events like Book Fairs and other events where prospective parents can mingle with existing families.

 

Ask people you know about the parents at a school you might want to apply to. Be specific. If you’re concerned about a particular issue, ask a parent who is already there.

 

Each class and each grade is different. And, the economic cycle may impact who a school admits for financial reasons. Schools may change over the years and admit more families on financial aid in some years and wealthier families in other years.

 

If you want an ethnically diverse school and you don’t see diversity when you visit the school, it may not be the right school for you. Don’t assume it will diversify by the time you arrive…it takes years to build a diverse student body.

 

Sometimes you just know it’s going to be the right school. That’s a great feeling!