Category: Beyond The Brochure

Guest Blogger Jenny: Do “Ordinary People” Send Their Kids to L.A. Private Schools?

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Would She Need A Designer Handbag To Tour Private Schools?



Recently, we saw a comment on Urban Baby from a concerned mom, preparing to tour schools. She wanted to know if she should purchase an expensive designer handbag, so she’d fit in.


While some might dismiss this query, I think the subtext of this handbag question is totally relevant. Obviously, she isn’t a moneyed mom, but she was worried that all the other families were loaded. She worried that she was too “ordinary” on her own, to fit into the private school social structure.

I think at every L.A. private school, there are going to be some extreme standouts. Years and years ago, my sister attended Westlake School, when it was just for girls. One of her classmates was Tori Spelling, and she was invited to her birthday party one year. Yes, she was invited to that insanely huge place up in Holmby Hills, the one that I believe boasted a bowling alley and a gift wrapping room. Mostly, what she remembers about that party is that there were ashtrays in every room, as Mrs. Spelling smoked (it was this, not the bowling alley, that was shocking to my sister). If my parents had been trying to keep up with private school families like the Spellings, it would have taken more than a Gucci bag to do it.

At Mirman, the school my daughter attends, there seems to be no outward signs of wealth. Sure, eventually you might have a playdate and show up at a mansion somewhere, but it’s always kind of a surprise. The parents all seem modest and unpretentious; I recently attended a parent potluck dinner at which no one really discussed their work (and you know, in that crowd, there must be some very impressive professionals). Mostly, we just talked about our kids. The handbags were deposited at the front door and not seen again.

When I decided to look for more than anecdotal evidence, it got rougher. Income levels are not something private schools are required to share; most simply state that they admit kids from “diverse” income levels, whatever that means. There don’t seem to be any hard and fast figures on the money.

I do know (going back to the unscientific, but infinitely more entertaining land of the anecdotal) that I did wear a gorgeous scarf to my John Thomas Dye prospective parents night. I do not normally accessorize with ease, but figured a little embellishment wouldn’t hurt. Sure enough, the AD complimented me on my scarf. I considered handing it to her. But did it help? No way.  

The other thing to keep in mind?  Appearances, particularly in L.A., are deceiving. That fancy car could be a lease on its last legs, the fancy house underwater, the fancy bag secondhand. And keep in mind that everyone is capable of embellishment. At that potluck dinner, a group of us discovered that all our children had been lobbying for cell phones, saying that “everyone else has one.” Well, it turned out NONE of them had one; I think there might be a single kid in the class in possession of such a thing (and the parents weren’t at the potluck to even confirm this). Yes, our children were lying to attain greater status, much as an adult is when they purchase an expensive handbag, to appear to be someone they’re not. 


Jenny Heitz has worked as a staff writer for Coast Weekly in Carmel, freelanced in the South Bay, and then switched to advertising copywriting. Her daughter started 4th grade at Mirman School this year. She previously attended 3rd St. Elementary School. Jenny has been published recently in the Daily News and on Mamapedia, The Well Mom, Sane Moms, Hybrid Mom, The Culture Mom and A Child Grows In Brooklyn. She now writes about gift ideas and products on her blog, Find A Toad.


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Do You And Your Spouse/Partner Agree About The Best Type Of LA Private Elementary School For Your Child?

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Photo courtesy Bing Images
Christina, my wonderful and talented stepdaughter, (sidebar: we are on a mission to recast that word in the positive light that reflects our relationship and that of many other stepmother-stepdaughter relationships) has written recently about the importance of establishing a family message that can be presented consistently to schools as you journey through the private elementary school admissions process.
Part of this task is to determine whether you and your spouse/partner are really looking for the same thing when it comes to the education of your children. It is remarkably easy to think you see things similarly, but when you are up against it, perhaps even at an admissions open house, you discover that there are some significant differences in your perceptions or expectations.
It is generally the case that people are comfortable with what they understand. We have all responded to our own upbringing, either by valuing it and wishing to recreate it for our children, or by questioning our own experience and seeking something different. It is very important to have this conversation at home well before you begin to build your family brand and participate in parent interviews.
It is likely that one of you has taken the lead in gathering the necessary information that will determine what schools you visit and apply to. There is a lot of learning that takes place along the way. One example is that you will discover that the best competitive academic schools have come to realize that ‘hands-on’ learning is appropriate and preferred in many instances at the elementary level. Looking for the classroom where children sit quietly in rows and keep their eyes on the teacher in the front of the room who talks may seem familiar, but it does not mean that the best teaching is going on in that school. 
The importance of you and your spouse/partner being on the same page when it comes to interviews at schools cannot be underestimated. Admissions directors can sense any rift, or even minor difference, between you very easily and that will create concern immediately. So do your homework – both of you, and have the necessary conversations, even if you don’t think you need to. What you discover will either cement your family message or help you determine the issues that need to be resolved before you can move forward as a united front. We discuss the various types of LA private elementary schools in Beyond The Brochure.
In the end, isn’t this just part of what being a family is? I think so!

Anne Simon, Beyond The Brochure co-author, is the former head of Wildwood Elementary School. She is also the former dean of the Crossroads Middle School, where her daughter is a graduate of the high school. 

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LA Private School Events & "Beyond The Brochure" Facebook Pics

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Come hear the perspectives and advice from two long-time independent school educators who have guided families through the secondary school admissions process. Keith and Peter will enlighten you on definitive steps families can take to avoid the high anxiety, including a behind the scenes analysis of the stress and anxiety involved in the private secondary school admissions process.The discussion will pertain specifically to the middle and upper school application process and address admissions stressors such as:

  • The ISEE exam
  • The Interview
  • Rumors, Gossip, Myths and Legends
  • Outcomes
November 29, 2011
7:30 – 9:00 p.m.
William Morris Endeavor (Screening Room)
9601 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills
Parking entrance on Camden, validation provided
 
RESERVE ASAP! – SPACE IS VERY LIMITED
$75 per person
To reserve a spot, register online at:
http://dtsla.kintera.org/NovemberLecture


Keith Sarkisian is the Director of Admissions at Brentwood School Middle and Upper Divisions, where he has worked for the past 18 years. His paper entitled An Analysis of Stress and Anxiety in the Brentwood School Application Process was completed in June 2011 as part of a Masters Degree research project/thesis. He has interviewed over 2000 families for Brentwood School admissions.

Peter Smailes was born and educated in South Africa, and serves as Headmaster of Curtis School. During his sixteen year tenure at Curtis he has held many titles including English teacher, Dean of Upper School, Head of Middle School, and Outplacement Advisor.

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The School Tour: "Do Your Homework in The New York Times"

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Here’s a piece from  The New York Times, Oct. 31, 2011. The article offers some interesting information that is applicable to touring schools in L.A.

Last month, Holly Epstein Ojalvo began a series of posts about how to get the most out of a school tour, and what to focus on before, during and after a visit. Using insights from her own teaching career, and from experts, she hopes to help demystify the experience. Here are some tips for preparing for the tour. Join the conversation below in helping her address your issues and experiences in future posts.
Not too long ago, a discussion thread on the parent chat board Urban Baby started with a mother asking: “Do I need a designer handbag for tours and interviews? What kind should I get?” Other mothers were full of advice.
Though some rolled their eyes, none of the responders pointed out that tours are for parents to size up the school, not the other way around.
Whether you are interested in seeing the school your child will attend — if it is a zoned school, for instance, or your child has already been admitted; looking more broadly and want to weed out places for your child to apply to; or figuring out which school to make your first choice, taking a tour can be the most efficient way to find out whether a school is a good fit for your child and family.
But only if you are well prepared.
To continue reading, click on the link here
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Blue Oak Creative Schoolhouse: A New Private School In West LA

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* April 18, 2013 Update: Blue Oak is now open and is a wonderful, flourishing gem of a school! Check it out!
When I received the email inviting me to tour Blue Oak Creative School House, I was immediately intrigued. Blue Oak is a brand new–not yet open– private Transitional Kindergarten/Kindergarten program in West L.A.  This two-year program will serve as a “bridge” between preschool and elementary school for kids ages 4 1/2 (TK) to 5 (K). The concept behind the school is that with kindergarten age cut-offs being fairly strict at most schools, there are some children who just miss the cut-off but have grown out of a preschool environment. Other children may need an extra year in a smaller environment before beginning elementary school. Blue Oak will open in January 2012.
On Friday morning, Carissa Feeney, one of Blue Oak’s dedicated teachers, and a Wildwood Elementary School mom, welcomed me into the large, bright, engaging classroom space filled with all sorts of wonderful learning materials. As Carissa explained, Blue Oak is a Reggio school, a progressive educational philosophy which emphasizes learning through collaboration. Kids work in small groups and core curriculum and academics are taught in groups, which stay together for 6 months or even a year. Kids learn social skills, conflict resolution, literacy and much more. According to the school’s website, the two-year program is inspired by the philosophy of Reggio Emilia – parents, teachers, and children work in close collaboration in a mutually supportive environment.  At Blue Oak, children connect academic concepts (reading, writing, mathematics, science, social studies) to real-world investigations in the arts and nature.
Carissa Feeney, Blue Oak teacher and Wildwood Mom
The school is the brain child Blue Oak co-founder, Lisa Perttula, (a PS#1 mom). It’s an outgrowth of their former preschool, Our World. Samira Herrera is the other co-founder. Carissa and I talked about the type of families who will be attending Blue Oak, LA private elementary school admissions, Reggio education, preschool learning, her passion Blue Oak and the upcoming change in cutoff dates for public kindergarten. Carissa is a knowledgeable and experienced educator She’s also warm, friendly and has a calm, caring personality. Parent volunteers will be welcome at Blue Oak. Parents will be invited to teach enrichment classes, as well as participate in other volunteer projects with the kids. Although the school isn’t open yet, I could easily see my kids being happy and inspired in this environment. It reminded me of my son’s Developmental Kindergarten classroom at the Willows.
The families Carissa expects to attend Blue Oak will live primarily on the Westside. The school is located on Washington Place, West of the 405, just West of Centinela Blvd. She anticipates graduates of the school to apply to The Willows, Wildwood, PS#1, Crossroads, Echo Horizon, Turning Point and other Westside private elementary schools. Families may also be interested in Open Charter and Beethoven Elementary, both public schools. As private school moms, both Lisa and Carissa are committed to helping families navigate the private elementary school admissions process.
Tuition at Blue Oak is based on preschool pricing: $1,250/month, from 8:00 a.m-6:00 p.m. From 9:00 a.m-3:00 p.m, the kids will focus on learning and academics. From 3:00 p.m-6:00 p.m, yard activities will take place. Drop off carpool in the back of the school makes it easy for working parents and prevents a parking shortage.
Blue Oak is on track to be an impressive school, based on a progressive education model that will be run by experienced educators who are committed to Reggio education. It has all the elements to be a wonderful school! Tours are happening now for the opening in Jan. 2012. Applications will be accepted until the school is filled.
For more information about Blue Oak Creative School House, please visit, www.blueoakschoolhouse.com
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