Guest Blogger Lindsay: SH*T L.A. Private School Mothers Say

The Mansion
  • The official cutoff is September 1, but parents are holding May kids back now.
  • Where is your winter home?
  • We don’t have to vaccinate because everyone else does.
  • We spend summers back east.
  • I might have to fire the nanny—she was late dropping off the kids again.
  • You have to come to our holiday party—we hired FX company to make real snow!
  • My driver got stuck in traffic.
  • Why doesn’t that child have a “shadow?”
  • We never fly commercial.
  • I was going to get a B, but everyone told me I’d be happier with a C.
  • I had to wait all day for the interior decorator for my Malibu house.
  • Do you realize how much I paid for this parking spot at the silent auction?
  • She’s writing our son’s recommendation letter, so for Christmas we gave her a week at our house in Aspen.
The Aspen House
  • This is a feeder school for Harvard-Westlake.
  • It was all nannies at that birthday party. Except for the hosts, I was the only mother there.
  • Actually, 7000 sq. feet isn’t really that big.
  • Dr. X is an artist. I’m on the 6-month wait list to get my eyes done.
  • Public school kids have a better chance at getting into the UCs.
  • Do you know who her father is?

Part Two Coming Soon!
Lindsay J. Gallagher, a Gen X mother of two, is a transplant from New York City, who has lived in LA for 15 years.  Married to a cinematographer, she is a “film widow,” doing her best to create a “normal” family life for her son and daughter even though dad is often away.  When she is not carting her children to baseball, swimming, ballet, acting or voice, or volunteering at their schools, she works on her novel, plays tennis, snowboards or watches Netflix on TV (new addiction!)  She travels a lot with her kids, often on her own, and blogs for family travel website Poshbrood.com.  Recently she switched from coffee to green tea and from wine to tequila. Lindsay has one child who attends an LAUSD elementary school and one who attends a private elementary school. Visit Lindsay’s personal blog, iknowbutidontknow.

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Christina Simon: Los Angeles, California, United States I'm the mom of a daughter (15) and a son (12) who attend Viewpoint School in Calabasas. I live in Coldwater Canyon with my family and a rescue pit bull, Cocoa. Contact me at csimon2007@gmail.com

13 thoughts on “Guest Blogger Lindsay: SH*T L.A. Private School Mothers Say

  1. I am shocked at how many of these statements I’ve actually heard, uttered by real people I know. I may need to make some new friends.

  2. I love this! I taught in a school in a very affluent area of LA and my favorite thing was when kids said, “Don’t you know who my dad is?” as a response to why they didn’t have to do something that all the other kids had to do! If anyone hears me or my kids say any of these things, please CALL ME OUT on it!!! :)

  3. Oh my gosh, great list. I too have heard parents utter many similar phrases. The offspring of such parents say things that are just as mindboggling. One girl invited a female classmate to join her family on a Spring Break trip to the Caribbean where they would travel by private jet and stay at a 5 star resort. The invitation was conditional, however, in that the girl said that her friend had to lose 5 lbs before the trip, because otherwise the Instagram photos they would take would not be so cute. Neither girl is even close to being overweight. :/

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