Yes, no and maybe so. Those admissions letters!

 

Image: Shutterstock
Image: Shutterstock

The countdown begins for notifications from L.A. and Pasadena private schools. Schools will notify families on March 10 and 17th. I remember applying for kindergarten, then DK, then 7th and 4th grades. Each time was stressful. Developmental Kindergarten was less stressful since my son was a sibling at Willows. As we waited, it was tempting to second-guess decisions we’d made along the way. Then, I’d think STOP. It’s done. My friends and I were on the phone non-stop. The stakes seem so high, especially when you start to imagine the worst possible outcome. Yet, over the years, I’ve seen that most families will have a school to attend. It may not be your first choice, but once your kid is accepted, it becomes “your kid’s school” and that’s a great feeling.

Our family has received acceptance letters, wait-list letters and we’re had to withdraw an application when our parent interview went south. If your family gets even one acceptance letter, congratulations! Two or more is an abundance of riches. If not, here’s what I’ve learned as a parent who has been through the process multiple times and as someone who writes about admissions: your kid (like mine) may not get into the school you think is the best school, the perfect school, the school where your family needs to be, the school where “everyone else” is going.  If that happens, it can feel like a harsh blow. After all, you did everything right and yet…a wait-list or “no” letter. What!?! Frenemies are getting in and that makes it feel even worse. The most obnoxious family at your school posts their acceptance letter on Facebook. You feel like crying. You start crying. After a time, you stop crying and call a close friend, preferably someone who doesn’t live in L.A. You vent and rage as she listens. It helps. You feel better. It’s also helpful to remember that sometimes things happen during the admissions process that are completely out of your control. Maybe you don’t have the support of your head of school (that was our situation leaving Willows for 7th grade, which has a middle school or maybe your kid barely made the age cutoff date and schools want older kids). Now what?

So what can you do? After gulping your favorite alcoholic beverage and taking some time to process it, come up with a plan to move forward. For secondary school, you’ll have to tell your kid it’s not personal, this rejection. If you have options, focus on what’s great about where he/she did get in. Don’t do anything you’ll regret like stalking the admissions office or firing off a nasty email to your preschool director or head of school. Think those thoughts if you want, but remain professional. Trust me on this one! Instead, focus on options to move forward. Maybe that means figuring out a plan for a school where your kid has been wait-listed (see below for helpful posts).  Perhaps you should think about submitting a late application at a school where you didn’t apply. This may require the help of an educational consultant to get your calls returned, but it can be well worth it. Cold calling can work, but sometimes a consultant will know which schools have that one open spot that could belong to you.

My kids are now at Viewpoint in 7th and 10th and I couldn’t have asked for a better school for them both!

Here are posts we’ve complied from my experience and those of our contributors. I hope they help. And, you can buy a copy of Beyond The Brochure: An Insider’s Guide To Private Elementary Schools In Los Angeles if you want a comprehensive overview of the L.A. admissions process including sample written applications.

Good luck to everyone!

Christina

Update: March 9, 2017

From Los Angeles Independent Schools:

Friday, March 10, 2017
Email notifications can be sent at 5pm on Friday, March 10, 2017
Replies will be due on Tuesday, March 21, 2017
Grades K-8: Notification can be sent on Friday, March 17, 2017
Email notifications can be sent starting at 5pm on Friday, March 17, 2017
Replies will be due on Monday, March 27, 201 

Waiting For Admissions Letters by Jenny Heitz

Waiting For Admissions Letters: Advice From L.A. Admissions Directors 

Black Friday: The Day L.A. Private Schools Send Admissions Letters on The Daily Truffle

Grateful, Hopeful or Dismayed: When Admissions Letters Arrive

Various Types of Admissions Letters by Kim Hamer

Good News: How To Choose

0/X: What’s Next When You Don’t Get In?

Confronting Rejection: When Your All Isn’t Enough

Tips For If Your Child Is Wait-Listed

Hiring An Educational Consultant To Go From Wait-Listed To Accepted

List of Educational Consultants

 

Keep up with Beyond The Brochure on Facebook for all the latest L.A. private school news.

 

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A Few Tips If Your Child Is Wait-Listed (updated)

Waitlisted

 

I’m updating this previous post since I’ve been hearing that this year (2016-17) is one of the most competitive for L.A. private elementary school admissions. That probably means more kids will end up on wait-lists than in a less competitive year. A frequently asked question is, “Does a wait-list notification really mean NO or does it actually mean my child has been put on a wait-list?”

Some schools definitely use a wait-list notification as a polite way to say “no” to an applicant. It’s hard to know which schools do this, but all kinds of rumors abound on this topic. Since you’ll never really know, the best approach if you’re interested in a school that has wait-listed your child is to consider a few factors. First, there are some schools that are very popular, very small and/or have their own preschool and therefore have a very high acceptance rate. In this situation, the school may or may not accept anyone off the wait-list. And, siblings and legacies at certain schools fill up spaces, making it impossible for the school to accept wait-listed kids. These schools aren’t the majority. I can think of 5 or so off the top of my head (including secondary schools). Most private schools in L.A. do accept kids from their wait-lists every year. Just talk to parents at schools and you’ll find this to be true. I’ve gotten wait-list letters so I know what it is like. Not the news you want!

Most likely, it’s been a long few months. Goodness knows you really want the private elementary school application process to end. But, if your child is wait-listed at a school you really like, you’ll need to continue with the process.

Here are a few suggestions:

  • Call or email the admissions director immediately. Tell him or her you’re still very hopeful a spot will open up. Remind him/her how much you love the school. Let the admissions director know the school is your top choice and you’ll enroll your child if they offer you a spot. You are ready to write the deposit check!
  • Have your friends or parents you know at the school contact the admissions director and reiterate the same message: you’ll enroll your child if offered a spot.
  • Don’t be alarmed if you don’t hear from the admissions director. There’s a lot going on behind the scenes at the school and they are waiting to know how many parents (if any) will decline their offer and therefore create spaces for wait-listed families.
  • Don’t keep calling or emailing the school! You don’t want to appear panicked or over-involved, even if that’s how you feel.
  • Be very patient. Families are admitted from wait-lists right away and in the summer months.
  • Schools DO offer wait-listed families admissions! We know lots of families at many top schools who were initially wait-listed.
  • If the admissions director tells you to accept a spot elsewhere, take that as a hint that your child probably won’t get in.
  • If you have a “back-up” school, don’t give up that option just because your child is wait-listed at another school. A lot of parents will put a deposit on their 2nd choice school, but continue to keep in contact with their 1st choice school where they were wait-listed.
  • Keep your cool and don’t have an attitude or seem resentful. Being wait-listed is part of the process and it can end up working out for your child.
  • Patience and persistence can pay off…we’ve seen it many times.

Good luck! Christina

 

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The BIG WEEK, The BIG DAY: L.A. Private School Admissions

Email Image

This is the BIG WEEK. Finally after months of waiting, schools will notify parents about elementary school admissions decisions on Friday, March 18. If you applied for secondary school, or if you applied to Pasadena schools, you most likely found out yesterday.  Friday is the BIG DAY for L.A., you been waiting for since you first started the admissions process in September. The Los Angeles Times called it “Black Friday” because it sets off so much panic among parents.

I’ve been there. I know what its like to open the schools’ emails or to log on to Ravenna. I’ve felt the exhilaration of the acceptance letters and the letdown and distress of a wait-list letter (in our case, it was an email that was most likely a polite “no”). I found out that doors shut, making room for other doors to open. I learned the harsh reality that people lie during this process. Friends don’t come through for you the way you’d hoped. School administrators think they can tell you where your kid should go to school, despite your objections.

After going through kindergarten admissions and middle school admissions processes, I’ve experienced some bumps and bruises along the way. With my two kids now at Viewpoint School and previously at The Willows School, I’ve lived the ups and downs of L.A. admissions. If you received the news you wanted, congratulations! If you don’t get the decisions you hoped for, you may need to pivot and quickly develop another plan to pursue. You’ll need to set aside your ego, your pride and maybe even a few friendships–I certainly did. Focus on your kid and what’s best for him or her. Contact the schools where your child was wait-listed to see if they might have a spot, making sure you tell them you’ll accept it if offered. If you got an acceptance from your second or third choice school, don’t let it slip away: put down the deposit, then see what happens with your first choice school if your kid was wait-listed there. I fully acknowledge all of this seems crazy-complicated. What I’ve learned, however, is that somehow it all works out. Everyone finds a school that works for their kid, even if it isn’t the one they expected. You’d be surprised how this happens every year. If you find yourself without a school, keep an open mind, expand your options if needed, reconsider schools you may have initially thought might not work, contact an educational consultant, look for “hidden gem” schools, forget about the “popular” schools because this isn’t a popularity contest, inquire about whether a school will accept a late application–some do.  There are options, you just have to find them.

Here’s a link to one of our most popular posts: Types of Admissions Decisions: Accepted, Wait-Listed or Shut-Out 

Good luck! Christina

 

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Grateful, Hopeful Or Dismayed: When The L.A. Admissions Letters Arrive

Pool flowers

It’s been an eternity (or so it seems) and finally, the admissions letters will soon arrive by regular mail or email. All over town, parents will be either (1) celebrating (2) trying to figure out what their wait-list letters really mean or (3) freaking out because their kid didn’t get in anyplace. It’s admissions day in L.A.

 

If you’re like me and you’ve been through the admissions process twice for two kids (DK, K, 4th and 7th grades), you’ll probably be familiar with at least two of the three scenarios above. My kids have been accepted and wait-listed, with one application that never got to the finish line after a terrible parent interview (more about that in the book…it caught us by surprise and there was no way our kid was getting into that school!).

 

First, let’s talk about the good news. Acceptance letters! Oh, joy! Now you can break out the champagne, call the school and tell them your family will accept. You’ll fork over the deposit and carefully analyze the admissions packet from what is now your kid’s school. Your kid has a school! Maybe you got two or three acceptances and you have lots of choices. Weigh them carefully, the pros and cons of each. Perhaps in a neurotic moment of ego-driven self-doubt, you’ll regret you didn’t apply to even more schools, including that amazing, constantly talked about oh-so-fabulous-school, just to get the letter and turn them down. After all, their tour was lame, the moms are mean-girls who wear Chanel and you’d enjoy the satisfaction…oh, never mind. All of this is pure happiness.

One Fit Window

 

Now to the wait-list. Yes, I’ve received several, one in particular that I felt panicky about.  Actually it was an email and it came at 12 noon on Saturday. Wait-list. Wait. List. To try to get a spot off the wait-list or not. To be or not to be? That was the question and this day seemed truly Shakespearean after a long process middle school process. Barry and I decided not to pursue the wait-list for our daughter, since that would have meant keeping our son at Willows, something we had decided very late during the admissions process would a mistake for various reasons. If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door. Instead, we focused on getting both kids into Viewpoint. And we did it.

 

It went something like this. We submitted a late application to Viewpoint (late being the Monday after admissions letters were sent out). We didn’t talk to the Willows about it, since experience told us that would be pointless. It turned out to be the right move at the perfect time. The kids got in. Maybe at sometime in the future in a galaxy far, far away, I’ll spill the details of what I think happened to cause my kid to end up on the wait-list. But, for now, you just need to know that I’ve had the experience of opening one of those emails and I know what it feels like. It’s a very uncertain feeling, but it isn’t always a “no” and a few kids at almost all the private elementary schools get in every year after first being wait-listed. Wait-lists move around. When one family declines a spot, the school looks to the wait-list to fill that spot. There are some schools, however, with very high acceptance rates so wait-lists spots are fewer. Sometimes, these are schools with lots of faculty kids, legacy families or siblings applying who are pretty much guaranteed to accept spots when offered. Parents often ask if they should turn down a spot at one school and linger on the wait-list at another. No! Send in your non-refundable deposit to the school where your kid has been accepted. It’s not a good idea to mention to that school you’re hoping to get a wait-list spot elsewhere. If a wait-list spot opens up, you’ll lose the deposit (it can be $2000-$5000, depending on the grade level, but that’s the reality). That is all just part of the L.A. admissions process.

 

If you find your family without a school, create another plan. A new plan that discards all mention of rejection letters. Don’t blame yourself and definitely don”t obsess over what went wrong. It could have been sometime entirely out of your control. Instead, focus on creating new options. Talk to your preschool director. Some of them have near-magical powers within their carefully cultivated relationships with admissions directors. Send him/her to public school for a year until you can re-apply. Call an educational consultant who knows how to work a wait-list to get a spot and who may also know which schools will take late applications. These might not have been your first choice options, but they can end up working out better than you’d expect. You’ll need to be open minded, patient and flexible, not exactly the qualities the admissions process brings out in parents.

 

We all want the very best education for our kids. Good luck! –Christina

 

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Photo: One Fit Window

 

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Getting Off The Wait-List and LA Times “Black Friday” Postscript Mom Story (re-post)

Good Advice!

Good Morning Everyone! I thought these previous posts would be helpful. 

Here’s a post from our blog (11-10-09)

I’m sure many of you recall this memorable quote from the LA Times article called, Kindergarten? It’s competitive in L.A. (April 6, 2008)

“It was the worst experience that I could ever imagine going through as a mother,” said one West Hollywood mom, who for obvious reasons requested anonymity: Her child was wait-listed at the two schools to which she applied. “Of course I broke down and started crying. I threw up. I had diarrhea. I locked myself in the closet and drank myself into oblivion. I felt like I failed my kid.”

Postscript: Well, it’s such a small world. I was on the phone with the mom quoted in this LA Times article a few days ago and I didn’t even know it was her! Just by coincidence as we were talking, the conversation turned to private schools. She told me about how stressful it was for her to go through the admission process. I told her that it was so stressful for me that I decided to write book to help other parents navigate the process. She asked if I remembered the LA Times article about “Black Friday”. How could I forget? Her quote had moms all over the city talking because it was so brutally honest and it underscored the anxiety so many parents feel when their child is not accepted to private school.

It turns out that her story has a very happy ending! After being wait-listed at the two schools her family applied to (not enough schools she and I both agreed) she took a deep breath and started working the process to get her child off the wait-list and into both schools. She asked the people who wrote her letters of recommendation to call the schools and reiterate how much they hoped her child would be accepted. She also called the schools and told the admissions directors she was still interested in their school. And, importantly, she told one school that it was still her “first choice”. It worked. About a week later, her child was offered admission to both schools after being wait-listed. She chose her family’s “first choice” school. As you can imagine, she was thrilled.

Here is the complete LA Times article:

Kindergarten? It’s Competitive in L.A.

By Audrey Davidow, April 6, 2008

It’s been a hysteria-prone season for parents of preschoolers jockeying for the coveted slots at top-tier private schools.

It was a nail-biter of a month. But at last the news is in: The idle chitchat, the intense speculation and competitive jockeying are over, and families throughout the Los Angeles area are either exulting in victory or wallowing in defeat.

It’s kindergarten acceptance time, the make-it or break-it moment when L.A.’s top private schools mail their acceptance and rejection letters, then conveniently take off on spring break to dodge the hysteria. And by all accounts, this year has been especially brutal.

“Most people received their letters on Good Friday,” says Hancock Park mom Chesney Hill. “But all the moms call it Black Friday.”

Although the numbers are still being tallied, consultant Jamie Nissenbaum, whose company L.A. School Mates helps parents plan an admissions strategy, has seen nearly a 20% increase in applications for schools that typically cost $20,000 a year. Parents who would’ve applied to four or five schools last year are now applying to seven or eight and are even considering — gasp — public school.

I’ve seen parents with kids as young as 11 months schmoozing top admissions directors at fundraising events,” says Nissenbaum. “Even siblings . . . are no longer guaranteed spots at certain schools.”

Desperate for a new edge, parents are turning to private consultants such as Nissenbaum, padding admissions essays, plying admissions directors with lattes and sending family snapshots with recorded messages. When all else fails, there’s always the time-honored tradition of name-dropping.

“It’s been a really, really difficult year,” says Ruth Segal, director of Wagon Wheel nursery school, a preschool often considered by parents to be a feeder for the city’s most coveted kindergartens. “I’ve had so many mothers calling crying because they didn’t get into schools.” Segal spent much of last week working the phones, trying to find spots for students who got shut out.

Private schools in the Los Angeles area are now receiving up to 10 applications per opening, says Jim McManus executive director of the California Assn. of Independent Schools, and the quality of applicants is getting better. “The competition just keeps getting stiffer,” he says. “And it’s causing a lot of stress and agony for everyone involved.”

“It was the worst experience that I could ever imagine going through as a mother,” said one West Hollywood mom, who for obvious reasons requested anonymity: Her child was wait-listed at the two schools to which she applied. “Of course I broke down and started crying. I threw up. I had diarrhea. I locked myself in the closet and drank myself into oblivion. I felt like I failed my kid.”

Harsh competition

Most parents living this rat race will tell you that scoring a spot at one of the city’s top-tier kindergartens — places such as the John Thomas Dye School in Bel-Air, Oakwood in North Hollywood, Crossroads in Santa Monica, Campbell Hall in North Hollywood and the Brentwood School — makes getting into the Ivy League look like a breeze. And they may have a point. According to the National Assn. of Independent Schools, the acceptance rate for private school in the Los Angeles area is 34%. The national average is 52%.

One of the most coveted schools in the area, considered by many power parents to be the most desirable K-6 around, is the Center for Early Education in West Hollywood. Deedie Hudnut, the school’s director of admissions, says applications for the center were up almost 20% from last year. Of the 178 applicants, the school had room for only 16 new students.

Earlier this year, when the center’s director, Reveta Bowers, went into the hospital for minor surgery, there was talk that even the anesthesiologist couldn’t help but put in a good word for his kid just before putting her under.

Consultant Nissenbaum charges parents $350 an hour to help crack the mysterious kindergarten admissions code and find the best fit for their family.

And the admissions frenzy is fostering a boom in kindergarten consulting businesses. Parents also now have Get Into Private School and L.A. School Scout to help them, and Fiona Whitney, author of popular guides to the local school scene, just added one-on-one consulting to her repertoire.

But there’s more than one way to fix the odds. Never underestimate the power of courting the admissions directors, persuading important community members to write letters and, says one West Hollywood mom, showing up at morning drop-off with a latte for the preschool teachers who play a pivotal role in recommending kids to kindergarten.

It also means leaving nothing to chance. That essay prompt — “Describe your child’s strengths and weaknesses”? — a gimme. Although the schools are looking for only two or three lines, says a Hollywood mother whose daughter was accepted at all four schools to which she applied, “they all say, ‘Feel free to add an additional page’ . . . and everybody does. I wrote a draft, then my husband edited it, then we each did multiple rewrites.”

One admissions director often tells parents the story of a couple who sent in a framed photo of their son with a recorded message from the boy, coached by the parents, begging for a spot. He was turned down.

All in the family

What some parents don’t realize, adds consultant Sandy Eiges, founder of L.A. School Scout, is that schools aren’t just looking at the child; they’re looking at the whole family. Which only amps up the anxiety quotient. Remember that “Entourage” episode in which sleazy power agent Ari Gold alienates the headmaster? “If the parents are obnoxious, sending too many e-mails, calling too many times,” says Eiges, “they aren’t getting in.”

Nor does being a benefactor necessarily help. “I have clients,” says Whitney, “who have said, ‘I’m absolutely willing to write a check for $100,000; is that enough to get in?’ ” Turns out, it’s not. “Obviously, schools are looking for givers, and to some extent money does talk,” she says. “But the big-giving families can give a lot more than that.” Schools are interested in how you can spend your time and your skills, or in some instances, affect the diversity of the school population.

Still, there are no guarantees and no sure-fire formulas. “It’s so arbitrary,” says a Hancock Park mom. “It’s not always the wealthiest family or the most connected people. We have celeb moms in our preschool who’ve been trying to get into the center for years and didn’t make the cut.”

“It’s come to a point where some of the schools — not all, there are some wonderful schools out there — only want perfect children,” Wagon Wheel’s Segal says. “If they ask a child to draw a picture of themselves and they draw a dog, that kid is not going to get in. Sometimes it even comes down to looks. . . . But what are we creating? A class of Stepford kids? We really need to be looking at the whole child.”

It’s no wonder that some parents have resorted to fighting back by talking up or down a school’s reputation. “People in this town love to gossip,” Whitney says, “and before you know it, depending on who’s doing the gossiping, a school can be red-hot or on the outs.”

(Source: Los Angeles Times)

And, here’s a link to reader comment about getting a wait-list call:

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